It is such a relief to get back to my blog. I missed writing! It's been a very hard week with all the 'labors of love' that we've been doing here. Passover ('Pesach' in Hebrew) is a very labor intensive holiday with tons of pressures to just get to the holiday. I worked harder and longer than I have probably since the month that I had 6 births in one month. To get the kitchen ready for Pesach, all the cabinets have to be cleaned out, and some have to be emptied out with the plates/cups/cutlery/pots/etc stored away in the cabinets designated to be closed off for the holiday. Stove, oven & microwave need to be re-kashered (to be made kosher for use on Pesach), fridge completely cleaned and all food items either eaten, thrown away (products with wheat), frozen, or stored away until the end of Passover. Tons of plastic containers cleaned and stored away, ...the list seems endless. But, it does end. Having my brother here was a tremendous help. The hardest part is not actually doing everything, but taking care of the kids while this is needing to get done. They need to get fed (with a kitchen in critical condition), and need to be entertained; the schools are off for a two week break starting before Pesach and ending just after. That is by far the hardest part. I didn't arrange an organized schedule of how to get help for that. Note to self for next holiday: arrange working hours for our nanny that help me with the hardest days. I wound up completely exhausted and in pain when that was exactly what I was hoping to avoid this year.
There have been many nights in a row of getting to sleep *very* late (2, 3, 3:30 AM) and tremendous amounts of physical work. Also, we had lots of guests. That was really great, I loved everyone who joined us this year, but it is still a lot. Everyone helped, of course, but it is still a lot of work. I wouldn't want to trade being with everyone, but maybe next year we'll do it in a hotel. :-) (when we win the lottery, right?).
Our house slept 12 people for three nights in a row, and thank Gd it's big enough that no room had more than 2 people in it. But, it's still a lot. I love all these people though, so it's always like a mixed thing of having the busy social house which is nice, to wanting 'down time' which is scarce in such situations. I took it (downtime) a few times since the holiday started, but not before. There was no option for downtime before the holiday, even though the day of seder night I kept declaring "I'm going to rest after this", it never happened. Just wayyyy too much stuff to do.
The seder was very warm and together feeling, which is, for me, such a gift. I loved the beginning song (kadesh, urchatz) after we all are seated. I looked around and smile at everyone; a new year is beginning, and we are together. I love that feeling. The kids were so happy, as well. We were 15 for seder, 13 for the lunch the following day, 20 adults and children for Ya'akov's birthday party at the zoo on Friday morning (yeah, you read that right), 16 Friday night for dinner, and only 8 today for lunch. That's a lot of food... and noise, and togetherness, and challenge, all wrapped up together. The children are all wound up and sleeping at crazy hours, and Azriel is in somebody else's bed every night. He hasn't wanted to sleep in his bed for a long time now, and his brothers and sister love having him in bed with them, so the prince just chooses where he will put down his head. I've given up being rigid about it. I don't have a good enough answer as to why he needs to sleep alone in his bed. And anyway, it's soooo sweet to see him curled up with a loving sibling.
For the first time that I can ever remember, I conked out at seder before the end. I was in too much pain, and light-headed and tired to the point of no return. I could not be upright anymore. It was hard for me to excuse myself, and I missed singing all the songs that are traditional at seder. When I woke up the next morning (Thursday morning), I was struck with a tremendous feeling of relief that this is the first day in weeks that I don't have to clean, kasher, or cook for Pesach. When the work is done, it's done. There are no loose ends after sundown the evening of a holiday or Shabbat.
After Ya'akov's zoo party, I was not doing so great, as I'm sure you all could've guessed. It was a great party, and fun for the adults (friends & family) as well as his friends, but as any zoo day, very tiring. Then I had to pull many strings to get more pain meds before Shabbat because my health clinic was only open till noon on Friday, and Ya'akov's party ended at 1:30. I got them (after a bit of convincing the pharmacist), but with no insurance discount, and a very small amount. Gotta deal with that tomorrow.
Then Friday afternoon after the party, there was still food to be prepared for Shabbat. There were many leftovers from the seder, but not fresh vegetarian things I needed for myself. I made an easy tomato soup, cooked two kinds of vegetables (fennel in lemon- hat tip to Rivka-, and steamed colarabi with olive oil). And we still had grilled fish from seder (yummy, Rivka!), and my baked apples for dessert. Over these past three days I have made 5 green-leaf salads which are very labor intensive- washing thoroughly and chopping all the lettuce, parsley, cutting onion, raddishes & colarabi, making a simple dressing- can take a half hour for a big one. I just spent extraordinary amounts of time on my feet. Even *with* help. It's unavoidable if it's in your house. But, for me, it's not OK to have this situation. I say to myself "OK, so maybe there won't be a green salad"... but I need it for *me*, it wasn't originally because of everyone else. And if I need it for me, then I'll just wash the whole lettuce head; it's going on the table, it's not just for myself. The stuff I did was because I, or because Pesach, needed it. The only way to avoid that is to have seder in a hotel. They make everything.
We still have 12 sleeping here tonight (us 6, my Father-in-law, my brother, our nanny, and a family of 3 who we are extremely close with), and tomorrow we are headed to Jerusalem. We are going (with my brother) to visit my cousins. Then Monday is the appointment with the Sudanese woman, Cecilia, with the head of plastic surgery in Soroka. I have lined up a translator (Arabic) to come with us as well. I am excited about that, and am so hopeful that he will be able to create a working treatment plan for her.
I also hope my team of doctors in Ichilov will come up with a working treatment plan for me. It's a waiting game at this point. Waiting for a diagnosis.... waiting... hoping that things will be clearer afterwards. Hoping. But still living for today.
In a few weeks, it'll be exactly two years since I got NF. The holiday of "Lag B'omer" is the day I woke up from the coma in the ICU. It's comin' around again.
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