Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Dealing in the here and now

The migraines are coming more frequently. Last night Azriel woke up at 3:30 am crying from a nightmare. I think the surgery really freaked him out- they forced that mask on his face really quick without my plan of easing him into it. Poor little one.

So, since 4 am, after I got him back to sleep, I felt the migraine creeping up. I took my heavy artillery drugs to ward it off, but they didn't help this time. I only got back to sleep at 6am, then had to get up at 9:30 for my doctor's appointment (GP). I asked Robert to call and try to change it, but there was no other time today, and I needed the paperwork to get in today for my MRI and other details (scripts for meds). I went there with my head splitting open, came home afterward with the same head splitting open, and went back to bed after taking some more heavy artillery. I slept it off, but it took all day. Thankfully we had good help with the children, and our regular babysitter came at her regular time (4:30), and Robert was in & out most of the day. What am I going to do when he is back to work? His job wants him 4 days a week this year; for 10 years it has been three days a week. It is good for income, but he'd have to sleep there 2 nights a week to manage that schedule (he travels an hour each way to his work; very difficult travel on narrow hilly roads which can be kind of nausea provoking, and he only gets home around 9 or 10). These days that I have to spend all day in bed... how am I going to deal?

I'll manage. We always do, somehow. Friends help out, babysitters. My kids are pretty used to me needing to be in bed; to making due without me. That makes me sad.

Is it because of all the meds? The pain? It's everything all together. I know I have to deal in the here and now; it's what Hashem is giving me now that is what matters. But these migraines swoop in for the kill. Today, that was my here and now.

One day at a time.

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