doctor Z?

When so many people and/or events point you to the same place, it's probably worthwhile to investigate it, you know?

A year and a half ago, before my arthroscopic surgery to remove the PVNS tumor, I went to see a well-known pain specialist here in Be'er Sheva. At the time, he explained very clearly that there are many options for pain relief, and if we are trying something that doesn't work for me, we can change direction and try another option easily.

I started taking the half dose of morphine immediate release (M.I.R) at his recommendation. I didn't like the effects I felt from that; I was too spacey. I did call back to tell him, but I was supposed to get back to him at another time, and I never followed-up. Partly because in 6 weeks time from then I was having the PVNS surgery, and I was hoping that my pain would end, so why play around with drugs when it'd soon be irrelevant? I blogged that appointment here. (as I looked for and read that entry, I couldn't help saying to myself "the more things change, the more they stay the same". But I know in my heart things are *not* the same. *I* am different. I'm better, inside and out. Incidentally, I read a few wonderful posts, too... like this one.)

Anyway, I let the issue drop. Now it is a year and three months later, and I have gone through three surgeries since that appointment (?!). And again, I am searching for pain relief. Which led me to Dr. D in Jerusalem a few weeks ago. I am unenthusiastically, partially, tenuously, considering going with his suggestions, after my experience with the capsiacin cream. I am not saying he's wrong At All. I know he will carry this with me until we find what works. I know he is a very talented pain doctor.

But recently it seems that may people in my life are pointing me back to the pain specialist I saw a year and a half ago here in Be'er Sheva. His name is coming at me from every direction, seriously.

Today I called the clinic in which he sees patients. (I do have his cell number, but I don't feel comfortable using the cell at this point.) I don't have an appointment yet, but it's because I got too tired to call back in the afternoon. A dear friend who has serious pain issues (is in a wheelchair) goes to him not only for her pain control, but also as her regular GP. I could do that, too; change GP's within the system. I ran into this particular friend today (coincidence?) and we discussed this. (this after seeing a different friend *earlier today* who also highly recommended the same doctor, and getting an email from yet a different friend mentioning the same doctor.)

So I am now thinking of changing to this doctor (he's Dr. Z). I'm not sure that it'd make a big difference in the work I have to do to find what will control my pain, but the advantage of him being *local* is tremendous. And possibly I'd change to him for my GP as well as pain management. That would actually be quite a gift.

I am trying to keep my head above water with this. This, of course, *and* my kids. And the fact that I lost my fairly steady nanny yesterday, and adjusting to a new situation with one of my my sons, and this nagging cough.

That being said, does it seem to you that the roller-coaster is pretty steady these days, or am I just used to a strange definition of normal? Maybe the fact that it feels steady means that *I* am able to be steady on it?