Friday, July 15, 2011

Rumpelstiltskin takes to the road

I am here... don't get worried!

I have been either sleeping like nobody's business, or trying to do a few outings... oh, did I tell you I am walking without the [@#$%*^] crutches? Praise the Good Lord in the Heavens (and all around us, and in my heart, but that isn't where I'm going with this, just couldn't help myself).

SLEEP-- you would be *shocked*. I am. Sometimes I sleep the entire morning until like 1 or 2 (or 3, but that is so embarrassing to write). UNreal. This foot thing has really thrown off my delicate balance of activity/sleep. Not that it was so balanced to begin with. I think between crutching around, which is *so* tiring and painful for my left hip joint, and the fact that my body had overtime healing to do, and the fact that I went to two weddings and a bris last week... well, yeah, sleep is the only medicine for all that.

I am starting to get back my energy, and walking...well, shuffling, mostly, but getting around without aide of any sort of apparatus.
I went swimming once this week, but my foot hurt. Gonna wait a bit more for that.

I am still sleeping tons. I hope it passes. It's *not* OK. My dose of the Methadone is gradually increasing in very small increments. I still don't have any pain relief from it; it may be another few weeks until the proper dose is reached to effectively help with the pain. But if this medicine is responsible for my need to sleep half my daylight hours away, I don't think I can handle that. I prefer the pain. I need to be *in* my life, not a passive bystander. I am in good communication with my doctor-- I see him every Sunday. It's hard to know at this particular point if the sleep is because of my sprained foot healing, or the meds. We'll need some more time.

One thing is clear, I no longer need my sleeping pills. I'm totally off them for about a month now. Yay, woo-hoo! Triumph, indeed. Four years of those things, and I'm off them. Baruch Hashem. One less drug in my body. I weaned myself. It wasn't hard, actually. I went down by breaking the pill into half, quarter, then nothing. One day of a headache, and we're good.

While we're on the topic, I need to be going to sleep *now*.
In the morning we leave to drive up north for 3.5 hours to visit Dov in sleep-away camp. Remember last year when I couldn't go because I was recovering from my surgery? Remember that my heart broke into a zillion pieces when I heard him crying on the phone to me because we weren't there (and he didn't *know* we wouldn't be there)? Well, we are headed up North tomorrow. I got off crutches just in time. I can't *wait* to see him-- I miss him so much! I am desperate for the tikkun.

Then when we leave the camp, we will be spending Shabbat in Modi'in with my brother-in-law & sister-in-law. Looking forward to that too... I hope I will be OK regarding my sleeping needs.

I remember when I was in sleep-away camp, and when my brothers were, my mother would always make her delicious chocolate-chip cookies to bring and leave with the camper. There were many, many years of camp visiting days that I remember, mostly visiting my brothers. I loved those days... care-free summer days, road trip to northern New York state, walking around and playing at the camp with my brothers, seeing the cool bunks, the lakeside, the picnics. Oh, and Ice cream from the 'canteen'. My father took lots of pictures, my mother made albums. I wore red canvas Keds sneakers. Life was simple. And healthy.

Well, I didn't get to baking cookies. I barely got to get my children who *are* home fed properly! Standing is still not a simple task. My mom was a strong lady. I am too, but in different ways. So, no home-made cookies for my well-loved son, but at least we will *be there*!! I'm looking forward. And I do have a box of his favorite granola bars...


  1. shavua tov! hope the trip went well to your sons camp. I am sure he was so excited about you coming \ even without the homemade goodies. next year with g-ds help you'll aim for that! refua shlaima and have a gr8 summer! rochel.

  2. I hope your visit with your son was wonderful. Glad to hear you're hobbling rather than crutching. Small steps...

  3. Rochel-- I am so curious to know who you are... wanna write to at my email address? (It sounds so clandestine as I write that, hehe)