Friday, September 16, 2011

Say "no" to narcotics

I remember when I was just home from the hospital after NF, I often had many flue-y like days where I felt that I had a fever, chills, cold sweats, aches like a fever, the whole thing. But, I didn't have a fever. I'd take two Advils and go to sleep. It went on for a while like that, until it stopped after a few weeks.

However, the pain continued, and I started using high amounts of Voltaren. I also used high amounts of other NSAIDS (which are now forbidden because of my kidney problems, which were most probably caused by those drugs). In fact, after each difficult surgery, I relied on either narcotics or Voltaren or NSAIDS. 

Since then, I have experienced narcotic withdrawal other times, after the other surgeries where I was taking narcs for pain relief (after the PVNS surgery I was taking  "Oxycod", also the same thing happened when I stopped.)

I am now withdrawing from Methadone. It wasn't good for me going on it, and it is *not* good for me going off. I am miserable with the 'flu-non-flu', once again. We are doing the withdrawal so slowly, you couldn't even believe that there could be such strong side effects. But each time I go down another CC on each dose (that's three cc's a day, because I was taking three doses a day) every four days. That is to say, every four days we lower the dosage again. And for me, every five days, I am in bed feeling AWFUL.

I can't handle it anymore. It is just so awful. I have hard enough days *without* meth withdrawal.

I will *not* go on any more narcotics. They are **not good** for me. I have said that to my doctors (including Dr. Z), and then I wind up on them again. Dr. Z was very confident that the meth is the drug for my pain. We went up in such tiny increments because I am very sensitive to narcotics. Well, I wound up having the "rare" side effects that only happen in "15%" of the cases. My joints all hurt. I was swollen and had edema. Other things were also not working right in me... time to go off.
~~Bad withdrawal~~~.


But... (as I sobbed next to Robert today)... I- am- in- so - much- pain...(and then continued deep sobs.)

What can be done?
"Nothing" cannot be the answer. Please Gd don't make that the answer.

(Soroka pain clinic first-time visit on Sunday, back to Dr. Z on Tuesday.)


  1. wishing you a refua shlaima b'karov, and may these doctors that you are speaking with be able to help you find the right meds that are safer. may the coming year bring a complete healthy recovery! lots of hugs and warmth, rochel.

  2. Thanks, Rochel. I always appreciate all your comments, although I don't always write back. Thank you for your blessings.

  3. Blessings from NJ too.

    It seems over time the pain has gotten worse. In the past it seemed you were in discomfort, but not pain. Do you agree?

    Sarah, considering this zman, it may be a good idea to go to a Gadol for a bracha. Can only help.

    Also, the medical Rav you have consulted with in the past... maybe you could actually meet with him, instead of over the phone? He might have helpful insights.

    xxxooo D LOL
    we'll be in touch

  4. I'm so sorry, Sarah. You're one of the bravest people I know. You will get through this, thoughI'm sure it's hard for you to fathom how at the moment.

    Is there any way that a combination of nerve blocks could possibly help, at least a little? Refuah shlema.

  5. Wow - I didn't know we had that much more in common than being Jewish brass players. I have to agree that narcotics are not much of a solution. A cure would be nice but how does one manage in its absence?

    My non-flu flus were far worse before they put me on narcotics. I'm still sick, weak and exhausted, but at least I'm not spending most of my time shivering under the covers anymore. Are the side effects worth the trade-off in pain management? I guess it's different for each individual.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and wish you refuah shlema.