Monday, October 22, 2012

update from a tired- but pretty fine- little world.

I'm OK.
I got over the chaos from last week, and was blessed that it passed without much more fanfare.
It's just that these days, *because* I am doing well, I am busy, and TIRED constantly. The good news is that it seems like we have found a good balance of medicines! I am in hardly any pain.
read that again:
I am in hardly any pain.
It is such a relief. The proper amounts of the new medicine for the nerve pain has accumulated in my system, and I gotta tell you, I had totally forgotten what this felt like. Totally forgotten. 

I have been writing much less; not because I don't think of writing all the time (I do!), but because I sit down at the end of the day and desperately need sleep. I have no strength to think or write. Even answering emails is challenging, and I am calling home to my parents less than I want to.

Being [relatively] out of pain is amazing. It comes, however, with the price tag that, I think I can now do lots of stuff. So I do, and yes, thank the Good Lord for that. However, even with our nanny still coming four afternoons a week, I am drained and exhausted. Being on high doses of narcotics and what-all-other stuff takes a toll on my body. I appear to be healthy and strong, and I can testify to the blessing of greatly reduced pain, but it's like my body is giving to way too many charitable organisations, and there isn't enough money left for weekly groceries. Know what I mean?

I take what I can, though. I am grateful beyond words to have this respite from the pain.
I think it helps me be less grumpy, too.
But doing life this way, with high pain meds, is so tiring.

On Thursday is my bi-annual (every 6 months) MRI. Thankfully it is in Soroka (in my city hospital) so I don't have to travel for that. But you know... the whole cycle starts again
getting the MRI done, (this time both hips; I know the right one has been acting up)
waiting 10 days or so for results,
waiting for my appointment with Prof Meller in Ichilov,
going into Tel Aviv (always an exhausting day) to bring my results to him,
waiting a few more weeks for the orthopedic oncology team to get back to me
making another appointment and going back to Ichilov to discuss results (another all day affair, this time always fraught with emotion),
most likely some important decisions to make about surgery,
.... and so it goes...

I am torn between trying to just keep controlling the pain with medicines (presently successful, but we never know what is around the corner with me, you know), and doing surgical fixes with the goal of getting off the meds, and saving my hip(s) for longer time, until I can get a hip replacement.

I don't know, let's just take one step at a time.

I am going to try a yoga class this evening (in like 15 minutes or so, actually). I am definitely scared. I am scared of pain, or of doing something to my hips that shouldn't be done. I don't know. I'm just giving it a try this time. I have a few other recommendations if this one isn't the right one for me. I am going with a friend, and she said that it is a fairly tough class. We'll see. I'm going to try my best to take it easy.

That's the news for now... I have some philosophical thoughts about the style of medical problems that I want to put down in words soon, but not today.

Gotta go a-yoga-ing...

1 comment :

  1. hope the yoga will help ease the pain. wishing you a complete refua. rochel.