On being lucky, and my day with Dov.

These past few weeks, or month, actually, has been so hard! I am not sure if it is because my wrist is so messed up and sore, or because there is way too much pressure around here with Robert trying desperately to get in the taxes before doom strikes, or because my beloved washing machine died, or because the house isn't how I want it to be and that is not in my control, or raising kids is sooooo hard. Yeah, that about sizes it up.

Actually, while I write about kids, I actually do have a brag about Dov. I took him to Jerusalem yesterday for interviews to get accepted into one of the best high school yeshivas in the country. I drove, after having had a particularly difficult night with lots of sadness and tears (tough times with the "state of the union").

No matter what goes on personally, though, I am his mom, and my children have to rely on me. Robert had to work, and Dov certainly cannot do something like that on his own. So, with a puffy face from not having had enough [peaceful] sleep, and getting medicine into my body 12 hours late so I was starting withdrawal symptoms, I drove us to Jerusalem. I was OK, and I knew I'd make it.

Dov was *awesome*. One interview I sat in with him, and the other two he was on his own with the various big-wigs. He did well. He told me he saw one interviewer write on her paper "very serious student, wants very much to study here". That was good. Another interviewer, a top student from the school, was to test his skills. He gave him mathematical equations, and waited to see how Dov worked them out, with no calculator or anything. Amazingly enough, with God on his side, one of the hardest math problems this student threw at him, Dov had seen and worked out before!! He wowed the interviewer by solving it so efficiently. It's good that he got off that way, but it means that if he gets accepted, he'll have some darn hard computing to do in that head of his!

This school is special in that they have the option of a regular high school 4-year program, or a 5-year program. At the end of the five years, the high school student graduates with a *bachelor of science*. Yup, a college degree. Gotta work your petudies off, but then there are so many more opportunities open to that student. Well, we'll see how it goes.

There was a questionnaire that each kid had to fill out. These questions were very intense, mature questions (remember- these kids are 14 years old... some younger.) Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What makes you the most upset? What decision are you most proud of in your life, what do you most regret, who do you look up to and why, what was the happiest day of your life (to which he wrote "the day my mother woke up from a coma"), if you could do anything you wanted, what would it be? That one he answered by saying he'd want to fix the world and have no more war. That brought us to a lengthy discussion about world economics, and specifically, after I told him what "genocide" means, and about Africa (Rwanda), he started to try to form a plan for how to save Africa. We talked about occupying other populations, and of course, from there we went to talking about the meaning of occupying people... here, at home. He is an amazing child who's wheels are in constant motion. He is optimistic that the world will be better.

I will leave that last statement with no comments to follow it.

We met my friend, who is here on a trip from the US, for dinner in Jerusalem. Then we made our way back, talking the whole time. I *loved* it. Spending time with one child, any one of mine, is so amazing. There is nothing like one-on-one time with your kids.

When we got back home, everyone was still up.
I got them to sleep. The babysitter wasn't the center of the house any more, you know?
First, I climbed into Ya'akov's bed to chat about his day, then into Azriel's bed for his cuddles, then into Shifra's bed to chat and snuggle, then, to sit on the side of Dov's bed, still singing to him the song we have sung to them since they were born. Not too much time left for me to sing that to him. He'll be off to summer camp in July for three weeks (with Ya'akov as well), then we go to the US, then my Dovie spreads his wings to a dorming school. He'll be home most weekends, though, in the beginning. Even so, I cherish singing to him on the edge of his bed.

That is the only time he lets me kiss him,
and he kisses me back.

Getting myself to sleep last night was another story. That didn't happen until almost four AM. Yup. Too much, just too much tension for one day. I needed one, and then a half more, sleeping pills till I was knocked out. I set my alarm for 10am this morning, though, and got up and got things accomplished.

Oh wait! about Dov & me kissing him -- I kiss him every Shabbat night with his blessing, and he kisses me back as well. I'm so lucky!

I guess life isn't so hard all the time.
(but I do really wish my wrist was healed! Oh, and that my new washing machine was delivered already! But, we manage to move on. Gotta keep moving.)