Thursday, September 11, 2014

A message in a dream

Things are so good. I mean *so good*.

Yesterday evening, Christine Kloser's daughter (Christine is the of the facilitator of the conference, and my teacher/mentor/guru woman) called her to say good night.

Christine Kloser

Christine held the phone up to all of us so we could all say good night to her daughter. After the room did that, I asked her if she'd like me to sing her daughter a Hebrew lullaby over the phone. Christine was all for it, so she brought me her phone, and a microphone, and I sang, with the whole room listening, what I sing to my kids every night- המלאך הגואל אותי- "hamalach hago'el oti", which is a blessing (from the Torah) saying that the angels of Hashem who have protected the children from evil should accompany them into the night. The translation isn't quite that, but it is a lullaby, and quite beautiful. I hadn't sang it to my kids in a week and a half, and it obviously needed to get out of me. It was a beautiful moment.

Aside from that, I have been speaking, in the microphone to the whole room, a few times. It is really good for me, and people are very responsive! I am getting such positive feedback here, it blows me away. I am considering putting myself "out there" for public speaking; for inspirational speaking. I am beginning to see I can contribute and serve that way.

My book is being shaped and worked. "Honed", one might say. The biggest breakthrough has been regarding the message that the book will deliver. All books need a message. Blogs don't. This breakthrough was *tremendous* for me. I understand my book on a much deeper level now. The message that came to me (on the *first day*, mind you) rides on a dream I had while I was heavily sedated in the hospital when I had NF. It was probably the most beautiful dream I have ever had in my life. Until now, I had thought of that dream simply as a blessing from God, the gift of beauty in the midst of sorrow and horrific pain. I held onto that dream, it was incredibly powerful for me. I'm not sure if I wrote a blog about it or not, I have to go looking into the archives. That dream came to me here, at this conference, as the invitation for the message of my book. I don't want to say more, it needs to be only in the book. But it is BIG. Primordial. Never underestimate the power of a dream. I have been so light, and happy since this came to me. I am in awe. I tell you, the room that we are in for the conference is *fertile*. An entire lush garden would grow there with just one small seed and a bit of water. The light is there already.

can't tell by looking at it, but the energy in this room is magnificent.
The people I am with are extraordinary people. I am quite sure some of them are reading this. Hi, guys! XO

My life as a writer has grown here. The promotional aspects of being an author have also grown, and I have a clear plan for how that is going to go. Christine, the facilitator/mentor/guru (with a small "g"), would not let us out of there without a clear plan. And resources galore!

She is phenomenal. I'm so happy my intuition didn't fail me with this one. Money and time well spent.

I am going back to NY tomorrow, but not until I hop around Baltimore a little before catching my train back. Going down to the "inner harbor" for a tiny amount of tourist time.

Back home on Wednesday (the 17th). I miss my kids and husband SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!
The time difference, and the conference have made it really hard to call and hear their voices. I skipped out of the afternoon session a bit today because I couldn't bear another day going by without hearing their voices. I got what I hoped for. :)

There have been a few times that I was so tired that I had to nap and miss part of a seminar, and once that I slept late by accident- I thought the alarm was on "snooze", but I had inadvertently turned it off... but I really needed it. Pain has been difficult; I need to get lymphatic draining big time when I get back. As well as the lymphoedema, both my hip joints have suffered from sitting in the chairs so much of the day. But overall, I am making it. The inspiration I have gotten here is outweighing just about everything.

OK, gotta go. I'm headed back to the convention hotel for the evening's entertainment. The seminars are over as of this afternoon, but tonight there is musical entertainment which I am looking forward to enjoying!

One request- if you know Robert, send him an email or give him a call to bolster his strength. What he is doing for me is not easy, and he is very tired. I love him very deeply for giving this to me- it is the opportunity of a lifetime; partly because I can be with my parents "solo", and partly because of this phenomenal conference. So, let him know he's awesome. And maybe send over dinner if you can so he doesn't have to think about what to make for the kids one day. Got a car and some time one afternoon? Shifra probably has ballet (4X/week)... maybe offer to take her? Thanks. :)

Signing off for now. I hope some of my light has reached you through this portal today. 'Cuz I'm a-glowing. :)


  1. How wonderful this has been for you! I'm so glad!!

  2. So GREAT to hear you so positive! Well done!
    Love, Miriam

    1. Thanks, Miriam! BTW, just wanted to tell you that if you want, you can sign your name on these blog responses with your name leading to your website address.
      Just in case you are interested....
      See you soon!

  3. And I'm so glad that you did take this opportunity to grow as a writer (and see your parents)!



  4. Sarahhhhh!!!

    How exuberant ! How marvelous! How fabulous and perfect.

    There are not enough adjectives of joy and satisfaction. I am just so happy that you did follow your intuition on this and that the conference is all and more that you hoped for.

    It is most uplifting to read this post. I feel the energy and positivity. Your strength and joy and gratitude is obvious.


  5. Dearest Sarah

    You have no idea how elated I am to know you found your path and the right person to hold your hand and guide you through, to bring out that Light and Spark from you. The inspiration that all that pain and suffering can bring purpose not only to you, your message as you say, bc others need to hear what you have to share about the experience and the Light in it. And YES! the dream!! Letters form the SOUL!!!
    Be blessed and have a safe and easy journey back home!
    Much love always

    1. Hey there darling!
      Thanks for all the uplifting words back to me! it's awesome... the whole thing.
      Your enthusiasm for my process is so wonderful. :)
      Yes, a dream. A dream I had when I was in the coma is the dream that is coming to me, with it's interpretation, to be the message of my book. So cool. I am so blown away by this all.

    2. PS- I forgot to tell you- you should always write the answer to the blog- the one you hope to print on the blog- on an empty email or word document first, then cut and paste it into the blog format. Less chance of it getting lost. :)
      I hate when that happens!