Sunday, July 5, 2015

Short update, MRI results

There is too much cancer in the world. What's up with that? So many people are sick in our society, and not enough people are doing anything about it. It's weighing heavily on my heart today after a friend, already post cancer, had surgery today to remove a new tumor. There is just too much damn cancer. I've lost too many loved ones to it.

May my friend who had surgery today recover fully and live a long, fulfilling life ...amen. (her name is Shoshana Chaya bat Basiya, for anyone who can put in a good word with the Big Guy)

The good news, is, however, that it is looking like I don't have PVNS. I got the results from the MRI. The person who read the scan did not report any synovial inflammation, or tumors, but that person isn't an orthopedic oncologist. I have to give the disk in to my ortho-oncologist to get the "all clear". I am optimistic, though. The initial reading is good.

I was surprisingly perturbed to read that there is no tear in the labrum reported. The person who read the scan reported no tear on the right side. I realized later, though, that my orthopedist said it can only be seen in an arterial MRI (MRA), and he diagnosed it by the MRA I had two years ago.

I was perturbed because it hurts so much, I couldn't imagine a report of "fine". I know it's not fine, and it is important for me to know that there can be name for it, and a fix. It is about Hope. I need to hold on to hope that I can live a good life without pain meds.

I need to find another orthopedist (not to be confused with orthopedic-oncologist; there are only four ortho-oncologists in the country, and they handle the PVNS). It's the "regular" orthopedist who deals with impingement and labrum tears. Two different specialties for two different problems. Anyway, we're going to call the medical rav and get a referral.

I can't write more. It's been an exhausting day, and my feelings are so mixed up.
I just want to be out of pain and off medicines. Today, what makes me sad is that I'm not sure if that is ever going to be realistic.


  1. Arghh. I'm asking H' to give you clear answers and pleasant cures.

    Yocheved Golani

  2. michele beat me to it, but hugs from me too; you can never have enough!

  3. Do what you can with the meds dear, it is not the Olympics' achievement.
    I admire your commitment. And your heart.

    1. I'm not staying off pain medicines for any sort of competition. The side effects were too bad to live with. I can't have that life any more. I chose pain over the side effects.

      I am still going to get the Cannabis, but there are still bureaucratic problems. I'm not even counting on it anymore. Whatever happens happens. I already have the licence, but I need to get another type of Cannabis, and I have to change providers for that, and my neurologist has to do that, and he is only in Be'er Sheva once a week, and his secretary wasn't in for two weeks because she got married, and and and and.....

      I am taking it one day at a time. Nothing else I can do.
      I am still grieving my two friends passing last week. I have a heavy sadness going around with me.

      with love to you,

    2. I'm sorry dear,
      I didn't express myself well.

      I am sorry for your pain, both the physical and the emotional.
      But right now I send you a hug mainly for your losses.