Monday, June 13, 2016

I'll take the flu over migraines...

Nine days. That's how long it's been. Nine days with no migraines or headaches. Seven of those days were with steroid treatment. I was tapering off the steroids for the week, and now (for two days) they are finished. I pray that taking the steroids broke some sort of cycle that was happening of recurring migraines. Nine days. (but who's counting.)

Somehow, though, over this past weekend of Shabbat and the holiday of Shavuot, I came down with some sort of flu or something. It honestly feel like the energy gremlins snuck into my body and stole every molecule of energy that existed. I can barely make it up the stairs in my house I'm so tired. And fevery.

A good friend has mononucleosis at the moment, I am praying I didn't catch it from her. It's pretty contagious, and the incubation period can be a month to six weeks. I did spend time with her at the infectious period of time. I've already had mono, though. I just wonder if my immune system remembers we did this already. I also wonder if being on steroids for a week possibly lowered my immune system and made me more susceptible to catching a "bug" or something? I definitely have some sort of flu. I feel so sick, my body just feels so defeated and weak.

It's been a long, hard run of months here.
I had a plan to go to the beach today, the kids have off from school, and it's a well known beach time. But not with how I feel. One of my kids went to the beach with friends of ours, the others stayed home. I *really really* wanted the beach. I need the sun and the air. I need the power of the Mediterranean sea, I need the beach. It'll happen. Just not today. Unfortunately, Robert is feeling sick, too. Uh-oh.

Low-key is the name of our present life. Gotta keep it all low-key.
School is almost over, and we hope to go to the US in the beginning of July.

I can't make any plans from one day to the next. A friend called today to see when we can make a date to go out together. We through some dates into the air, and it ended with how making appointments usually ends when I am involved... "let's talk the day before, hopefully that will work out."

Sometimes I really do talk to Gd and say "hey, look... haven't I paid plenty of dues? What is it that you want me to be doing that I am not learning? Give me a break... pick on someone else much more deserving."

But you know what? I immediately realize that all of our trials in life are tailor made just for us. I don't know why I seem to get so many more than other people, but maybe I just don't know their lives intimately enough to see their trials. Then I usually come to gratitude. I have been the receiver of immeasurable, priceless gifts. So many gifts have been sent our way which many people who Hashem loves have not received. I realize that and I remind Hashem that I am grateful. So, so grateful.

I just wish I didn't feel sick while telling Him I am grateful. I'd love to run around in the ocean waves and show Him my love. I'd love to see beautiful sunsets on a lake while telling Him I am grateful, and thanking Him for everything. So, I'll do it from my bed. I may have the flu or something, but I am still grateful. At the very least I am grateful for nine days without a migraine. At the very most; boundary-less gratitude.

But having good health would help. I'll get there.


  1. Im so happy for you darling. I am on my way to the airport so I wont have time now to read your blog but I am thrilled for you!! Stay in touch! xxxx

  2. Yay! The sweetness and light of Shavuot cures all, no?

  3. Could it be withdrawal from the steroids? Flu but not flu. Sounds familiar. Wishing you a great day today.