AFTER!!

This is hard. I mean really really hard.

It's also good, it's a good process to heal from this elaborate surgery. But OMG it's hard.

I'll start off by saying the surgeon is very pleased with how things went down in the actual surgery. He didn't find things he was hoping wouldn't be there, and he found it all relatively according to my scans and exams. In other words, no surprises, which is amazing. He did find that the mesh was folded over on itself, which could definitely have been causing my pain. He was able to take out the clips that were bothering me, and about 60% of the mesh, which is really good. The other 40% was too incorporated to remove, but since it is incorporated, it shouldn't cause me pain.

He pulled, cut, manipulated and flapped all sorts of muscles in my stomach and upper thigh to get proper coverage over gapey. It is really incredible. The big reveal was yesterday, I saw what he did. I now have one big, smiling scar from hip to hip, like 4X a c-section scar, and a perpendicular one by my belly button. That's it. No more gapey, no skin graft. Amazing. Incredible. I honestly never thought I'd do this surgery, and here I am, after it now. I did it. I'm bad*ss.

But I cried when physical therapy came and told me we are getting me out of bed. "I'm not ready, give me another day" Nope. Now was the time. So I didn't have a choice, I did that. I got out of bed on Tuesday, not even 24 hours from the surgery. G-d that was hard. Then they took out the catheter, and I had to use the bathroom independently. All these stages were so insanely hard, I cried. But I had to do it, no matter how hard it hurt. And it hurt. A ton.

In fact, I don't think I've experienced this much pain since the mesh surgery (2010), and before that, not since NF. It's on that level. You don't want to know all he did with muscles there in my belly, of course it's going to hurt like a b*tch. I said the scar was like 4X as big as a c-section, but the pain is much more than 4X that. Muscle grafting is so painful.

Getting out of bed, walking around to the bathroom, the occasional walk in the hallway, it's all so complicated. The doctor doesn't want me straining at all, so I'm trying to do everything with relaxing, but it hurts so much it is hard to relax, obviously.

The nurses help a lot to be on top of the pain meds. The nurses are *uh-may-zzing*, actually. So kind and sweet, always trying to help, always answering the call button within a minute, always offering alternatives if they can't give you narcotics at the time you feel the pain coming back. They are just so sweet, all of them, I am blown away with their kindness. I was in culture shock that first day when the nurse was so nice to me-- it's a pretty different experience (read: radically different) than most Israeli nurses. I definitely understand the concept of medical tourism-- it makes sense to me now, and especially after Mayo last summer as well. I know one can have a bad experience here, but I have been very fortunate indeed.

I just still can't believe that Gapey is gone. I'm good with it, don't get me wrong! I just want the pain to subside to easier levels. Today is 5 days after surgery, and while it's a little better, I'm still moving *very* gingerly, and in lots of pain. The meds they give me for pain (Oxycodone & valium, believe it or not, it helps with pain too) usually give me a big nap. They put me right out, so I'm sleeping during the day a lot too, which I am pleased about. Also at night, last night I slept through the night for the first time since surgery (except when the nurses woke me to take my vitals, but I got right back to sleep thereafter).

OMG, did I tell you about my room?? No? Well.....
It's the best room on all the floors, the corner room. The size of it, well, Soroka hospital (the one in my city in Israel) would have put 6 people in it with flimsy curtains surrounding the beds. This was a private room, all mine! Purely by chance. The view, it was stunning. (I got discharged today and am currently at a hotel). I had a corner room with the East river outside, and the skyline all around the river. Sunrises and sunsets were stunning, we took so many pictures. There was a private helicopter port right under the window, so we saw helicopters landing and taking off all day. And the barges, yachts, and boats that passed by were all stunning. I wished I could be on one! Amazing room, again, very lucky. There was a comfortable pull-out couch for Robert to sleep on, and he slept well most nights. If I was up and in pain, he was up though, my night in shining armor.

Seems like the kids are doing well. We've "seen" each other on the phone (face-time) a lot, and spoken with them a lot. It's one week down, five more to go. I hope they'll be OK. If you see any of them around, just check in with them OK? :)

It's almost Shabbat in New York. I miss Shabbats in the Holy land. There's nothing like them. This blog is long enough, I'll write more soon. Next week (July 1st) we go to a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend's apartment, which she is lending us for free for the month of July. It's an amazing situation, and I am so grateful!!

Have a Shabbat Shalom to all! Coming to you from a hotel in the neighborhood where my mother grew up (Murray Hill), Sarah Rachel Bat Tova.