Sunday, December 7, 2008

early morning in my house

I just wish I had a diagnosis for this pain already. I had a good week, I was optimistic & "up" a lot, but there was the pain. On Friday afternoon I felt achey-ness coming back and I went to sleep early. Then on Shabbat I had another fever and slept *all day*. All day, all night. I did walk Emma twice, but it hurt. Oh, speaking of Emma, she is back to her self again, and she's fine. Wouldn't it be amazing if we all bounced back that quickly!

Now I am up early... too much sleeping. I went around to the childrens' rooms to 'do rounds', so to speak. First I went into Azriel's room, but no Wazi! But I heard his little nose snoring nearby... I checked out Dov & Ya'akov's room, sometimes Wazi crawls into bed with Dov in the middle of the night. And, there he was. Smushed up next to his big brother, his little blue doggie on his head, snoring away next to Dov. And Dov's leg over Waz's leg. I stared at the beautiful sight for a long time. Over on Ya'akov's side of the room, he was sprawled out sideways on his bed. And he fit. It took me a while to find where his head was.
Shifra's room was also a gorgeous sight. Her favorite things all around (including the new cash register she got for her birthday), her Barbie's lined up "in bed" on her bed, her baby dolls dressed in pajamas all around her head and arms, and little red-headed Shiffy curled up in a little ball, with he thumb in her mouth, and her little pink blankey half over her head.

Even Emma is sleeping, curled into a little cinnimon-bun ball up in my room on her happy chair. :-)

It is so quiet here, the sun is coming up, and I am so lucky.
Baruch Hashem. I'm going to be OK. It's just sometimes hard to wait for that to actualize.


  1. Hang in there! You sound really good today. G-d is good to you with those beautiful children, and wonderful husband...and loyal Emma!

  2. Hey, Sarah,
    I so missed seeing you on Shabbat. And so glad to read you are up and feeling good. I'm about to go with Ruth to Drawers tonight. But thinking of you.
    Mazal Tov on Geffen's upcoming bat mitzva. May your extended family also feel Hashem's blessings!
    Love, Miriam

  3. I just got caught up on your blog again. So sorry to hear that things have been so up and down. That's probably the most disconcerting part. I'm so glad to hear that things are looking up for you and that you are having the strength to follow up with all these appts. It is so hard with depression and to add all the physical things it's got to be WAAAY harder. I'm praying that the last day of fever and sleeping is over and that you'll continue to be feeling good. You are a strong woman. Have a great day and keep taking good care of yourself.

  4. Hi Sare,
    what a beautiful sight of your l'il uns in bed... We want moments like those to be absorbed into our bodies and pumped through our bloodstream. Don't you wish we could feel that same love and appreciation every minute of every day... that's what we're supposed to do, right? Despite and through our challenges. You're doing a great job of doing that.

    Miss you lots, love to everybody.

    I turned the big 4-0, I'm catching up with you!

    Devorah B.

  5. dear sara,
    happy b'day to shifra ! - seems like yesterday...
    azriel yosef - b'ezrat hashem will be fine.
    those descriptions of your kids in bed are/were beautiful - glad you have the strength and clarity to enjoy it.
    chizki v'imtzi - you're really getting there every day.
    all the best from NYC