Medical update

The thing about having PTSD in a war is that every noise sounds like a siren. We had one today on Shabbat, accompanied by a rather close sounding boom.

Pretty depressed these days. I feel under par physically, and the depression is setting in. Something is going on with me physically, and nobody knows what. I often get through the day on Tylenol or Advil. I often feel fevery, but with no fever. That just shouldn't be. In a week I'll have the MRI in J'm, so that may shed some light.

I went two days now without the pressure garment. I just felt so sickly that having it on just bothers me more. And since I was in bed more than out, I just didn't bother putting it on.
My personal consensus is that I am going to go for the reconstruction surgery. I cannot deal on my feet at all without the garment, and I can't wear it my whole life. My OT (scar management at Soroka) says that I need to stop wearing it in a few months. I know I'll go for the reconstuction; the stomach wall muscle hernia hurts. Every time I cough, sneeze, or get up from a chair or bed too fast I get a sharp pain in gapey. The whole big gapey is so uncomfortable to live with. It is a constant feeling of the uncomfortable large concave space against my clothing. It is mostly numb with small areas of feeling, and it is just so "oogie" feeling all the time. I am used to the feeling, but it is really unpleasant. It draws my attention all the time. It'll be two years since the NF in May, and I think I've had enough time to evaluate what will be with it. I want it fixed. They will close it up and fill the area up again with fatty tissue so I'll be symmetric, and I wouldn't be aware of it every minute of the day. I think it'll improve my quality of life, and after these two days of having off the pressure garment, I have decided I want to go for the big reconstruction. When, where, who... yet to be investigated.

I first have to get help with the hip/thigh pain. Again, after the MRI.
Tomorrow (Sunday) I made an appointment to get a lymphatic treatment/reflexology with Dorit. Looking forward.

But first thing in the morning we go to the pediatrician with Azriel. I have to get the OK that he's no longer contagious so our babysitter can come back to us. Here's hoping...