The body's ability to know; our ability to know our bodies

It feels better to at least have a diagnosis and a concrete reason for the pain. I have waited for that for almost a year, can you believe it? There were times I thought that I just have to live with it, that it is a byproduct of having had NF & cellulitis. But all the time, I also knew intuitively that something is really wrong. I knew it even when I was released from the hospital after the cellulitis infection. The "shapey" area was still red, swollen and clearly defined. I told the doctors at the time, but they said don't worry about it, that my blood count is down and the infection is gone. All the while that I thought throughout the year that I was getting celulitis again when the pain flaired up particularly sharp in the evenings. For almost a year, I thought on an almost daily basis that I would get celulitis again when I wake up. I wish the doctors would listen to patients better. That is true for the obstetricians I work with in the birthing wards, also. We *know* our bodies. I knew there was a mass in there, I felt it. I just thought that it was the booby prize for all I've been through.

Now I can actually have a plan to follow and see that there actually may be an end to the pain & discomfort. It'll be a while, but I believe it will happen. I called the plastic surgeon from Ichilov hospital yesterday, left a message, and thought to myself "ok, that is one of the next 5 or 10 messages I'll have to leave before I hear from him". He actually called back *5 minutes later!* He remembered me, and invited me to come for a consult & exam already next week, Thursday. He wants to see the swelling and where it is in proximity to gapey, and analyze the MRI himself. Then, I hope the biopsy can be scheduled shortly thereafter. I asked him if he thought it would be a possibility to do the lump excision and the reconstruction surgery at the same time, but he said it was very doubtful. The wound from the excision needs to heal in order to be able to stretch the skin as necessary to do the reconstruction.

But I'll be wiser after the consult next Thursday. My sister-in-law will meet me there for the consult, so I will have another set of ears and loving support.

I am not concerned that this is going to be cancerous. It seems quite obvious that it is a product of the trauma from infection, and is most likely some sort of cyst or benign mass. I am worried a bit that it may be filled with infection, and encased so it's not spreading. Would a biopsy be dangerous with regard to opening/spreading infection? I'll ask that next week. It is reminiscent of the famous lipoma that was excised at the hernia surgery. The assumption is that the lymph nodes that were in it ruptured, spread infection, and that's how I got NF. I'm sure it'll all be discussed.

Anyway, the relief of having a diagnosis that makes sense is palpable. The pain is still the same, and still hard to deal with, but when the soul is quieted, the body knows it.