"Beathe, fall into the wave that is coming toward you... hold onto the steady beam for support..."

Remember like a few months ago I sad that first we'd go through surgery with Emma, then Azriel? Little did we know all that would happen in between those things! Holy camoley, it's been a helluva few months.

Azriel's surgery is now scheduled for the 24th, in two weeks. I have to take him for the pre-op blood tests on Tuesday. I am choked with fear when I think about his little 3-year-old body going under anesthesia, having some cutting, and having him in pain that he has no grasp of understanding about. He'll think we betrayed him. My chest tightens just thinking about it now. Switch topics, Sarah, talk about what you are more detached from....

So, my problem of an unidentified mass and it's excision... Hmmm... chest isn't loosening up yet. Hmmmm... why not?? :-/

In Ichilov hospital, I am being taken care of by a team of 3 doctors; two plastic surgeons and an infectious disease specialist. I saw each of them last year for various consultations I needed. The meeting I have on Thursday is with the plastic surgeons. Today I spoke to the ID doctor, and faxed the MRI results to him. He called after he read it (these guys are prompt!). He told me he suspects the mass may be filled with infectious fluid. Because of the low-grade fevers I was having, because it was formed when I had cellulitis, because of my whole sordid history with infections. If so, a biopsy has to be a needle biopsy, but he feels he may suggest just an excision without a biopsy to be safer. Then we talked about the antibiotic problem and it is a bit of a quandry. I told him my aversion to vancomycin, but I have so many allergies and sensitivities to medications, the choices are pretty narrow. Mostly he concluded that we'll be back in touch with each other after the Thursday consultation with the plastic surgeons. He wants me to tell them specifically to be in touch with him (ID guy) about the treatment plan.

I have doctors who communicate with each other and are concerned for my welfare. That is a lot to be grateful for. I have to try to roll with it and release that choking feeling.