Night

Hard time falling asleep, hard time staying asleep. Even with my new really comfy mattress! Boy, this girl is t e n s e.

It was an especially difficult evening with the children, and I didn't get that rest I needed. Quite the opposite- I got really upset and worked up about some dynamics that were happening in the house, and all my mommy buttons got pressed. I won't get into details, but I was so upset. In my experience, tension breeds tension- it is a hard cycle to break, at least for me.

As the evening finally came to an end with the older children finally in bed, only then did I realize that I forgot to practice horn. I have a concert next week with the orchestra, and this one I do have to practice for in a more serious way. I want to play- this is my choice. I miss good music, and next week's concert has a pretty good program, so I accepted. The concert is in Tel Aviv. Anyway, that was a lost practice day, and I assume today (it's currently 3:15am) will be, also with the Ichilov trip, and taking into account this hard night sleep-wise. The concert will go fine, I'm sure, but I need to practice to feel more confident in my playing.

Emunah (faith), step up to the plate here please.... and getting back to sleep wouldn't hurt, either. Presently waiting for the passiflora tea and the Xanax (muscle relaxant) to kick in.