A blog post from the soul

The parts of Shabbat when I wasn't in bed were quite nice. A good friend had a Bar Mitzvah celebration for his son, and it was special to celebrate with them.

I was up Friday night with a migraine from 4:30AM- 6ish, when one of the medicines I took finally kicked in. Or perhaps all the medicines, I don't know. Slept till 10:30, and realized I missed the actual Bar-Mitzvah! I wasn't happy about that. But as I looked around when I woke up, there was beautiful Shifra sleeping like a princess next to me. It felt so special, like everything in our little world is good, if we could just keep it that way.

I woke her when I was ready to go out to shul (the synagogue), and we went together. We joned everyone there for the Bar Mitzvah luncheon.

When we got home, I went right to bed, noticing that my headache never really went away all day. I stayed in bed all afternoon, until 9PM, When Robert got me up for Havdallah (the candle/wine/spice ceremony at the conclusion of Shabbat). I am up now, but on my way back to bed. It's a mixture of tiredness, dealing with pain, and depression all together.

Here's hoping for some clarity this week about a treatment plan. I feel too depressed at the moment to detail what is up for this week, but it'll unfold, and I'll write about it, like always.

I just want to say one more thing. There are so many people who care so much, and feel like they want so badly to help me. Quite often I receive advice to try this treatment, or that naturopath, or that person who is a healer. I know these suggestions come from only the best place in their hearts.

We have to do what feels right *to us*. Everyone has their own path, and we are in this world to respect individuality. We all make decisions, and daven (pray) that Gd will bless those decisions.

Our paths are there, tailored for our specific needs. Please don't be disappointed in me because I chose my path, and not your suggestions. We buy clothes that fit, and leave the ones that don't fit us for other people to buy, because they will fit them.

I have been dealt two rare, painful diseases in as many years.
I got to my team of doctors through a world renown Rabbi, Rav Firer.
I made the decision to trust them; not an easy decision given where I am coming from.
It was they who believed in me and were finally able to diagnose the pain I've suffered for over a year.
Bottom line- I have strong faith, and I trust my gut feelings.