What I learned from Eve (long post... please bear with me here...)

Stories that we read in the Torah (Old Testament) are always there to teach us something far beyond the simple understanding of the story. One of the first stories that we read in the Bible is the story of the Garden of Eden; about Adam & Eve's consequences for eating of the fruit of the forbidden tree. Eve's consequence was that women will forever feel pain when they give birth. No longer would birth be quick and painless, as it had been until then.

There is a Jewish concept that Gd's punishments are uniquely tailored to fit the wrongdoing, measure for measure. How is it that Eve's punishment for eating from the tree of knowledge is that she'll have pain and anguish when she births? What is the possible connection here? How is it that the tree of knowledge is compared to birthing?

I once heard a lecture about this. I found it very helpful for me to put this story together in my head. It is only one theory, and I'm sure there are others, but this one I really relate to.

What would it mean to have all the knowledge of good & bad; all the knowledge that there is to know? It would mean that you are godly. It would mean that you are complete, and do not have anything to wonder about, or anyone to learn from. You would have all the answers, and you'd feel omnipotent. The most dangerous thing about that is that because you are only human, but feel omnipotent, you could use this in a very negative way with horrific consequences to others, and ultimately to yourself. We aren't made to be omnipotent. We are made to strive, learn, wonder, and most of all, to love.

Eve wouldn't have been the human archetype that Gd wanted her to be if she had omnipotence with no boundaries. We can't live without boundaries, it is against human nature. So, when Gd found out that she had eaten from the forbidden tree, he had to design a consequence that would cause her to never forget that she is human, but rather exists only because of a partnership with Gd.

When a woman has a baby, it certainly can feel like *she* is doing it... like she is the one who created this new life, and she is the only one who is able to birth it. It can feel omnipotent... at first. As the pains get stronger and harder and closer together, it becomes very hard to deal with it alone. In my experience with birthing women, a woman in early labor starts out standing, swaying, and walking out her contractions. When they get increasingly harder, it is harder for her to stay upright. She is on her knees leaning into pillows, or into her bed, or on a big ball, or leaning against a wall. The pains continue to get harder and more painful, with hardly any break between them. Often the woman is at this point getting ready to birth. She'll lie down on her side in the bed, or sit with her back angled half-sitting in the bed. The stages of birth bring her further and further down to the earth; she starts out standing, then she is on her knees, leaning, and by the time the birth happens, she is most often lying down or squatting. Then the baby comes out, face down, and slowly turns it's face toward it's mother's thigh, and by the time the head is fully born, it is looking *up*. We all look up when we think of prayer, or when we speak of Gd, don't we. It is nothing short of a miracle to see a baby be born. That turn of it's head, the baby's first action, even before it takes a breath, is to look *up*.

The laboring woman gets down lower and lower to the ground, closer to the earth. Her *baby* is given the reflex to turn it's head up, showing us the presence of the creator. The baby is the one who teaches us all how it came to life.

What does this all have to do with eating the fruit?? Well, Gd wanted to show Eve that she indeed needs a partnership with Gd, and she must never think of herself as omnipotent. This feeling of omnipotence can take on a truth, especially during childbirth. Though her body *can* give birth, it is only because of Gd. Hashem gave women pain during childbirth so that they are completely clear on the notion that they need a partnership here... need someone, need help, need relief, need support. Lest she feel that *she* is the only factor in the birth process, pain makes her realize that she is not omnipotent, she is not godly. And, if she feels her human-ness, she will strive, learn, wonder, and most of all, love. And take care of her baby.

I used to have two very demanding careers simultaneously, 4 children who I felt proud of nursing long-term, a big house, and I did it all. I cooked, cleaned, drove the kids everywhere, did many heaps of constant laundry, and hired all the babysitters and took care of all the scheduling nightmares that come from trying to do that all while leading two busy careers. At times, I felt omnipotent. And, indeed, it was much harder for me to love properly. I was too busy, too consumed with everything else to really listen to my kids. I raised my voice at them a lot. They were so small back then. I was short-fused much of the time, and Robert & the children got the brunt of that.

I was shown that I need a partner in life.... that I am not omnipotent. I don't run my world, Gd does. My first clue [that I missed] was that I needed a cesarean to birth Azriel. Gd wanted me to know that HE makes the decisions, I can't do it all and brag about a perfect home birth. It wasn't going to be. Remember- being human means to strive, learn, wonder, and most of all, love. And take care of my babies. I needed a wake-up call. Then only a year and a half later, I was brought wayyyyy down- almost dead- but NOT dead- in order to get a second chance. It would result in the consequence of not having any more babies, and struggling with pain constantly. Gd wanted me to use my reflex of turning my head toward the heavens.

So I will strive, learn, wonder, and most of all, love. And take care of my babies.

The rest is commentary.