Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Well, seems like we did it. We made it to Robert's departure date with no more hospitalizations or sicknesses.
He leaves from home tomorrow early in the morning, his plane is at 11am.

I feel sad. It's not the kind of sad in a way that 'things aren't OK', but just a normal sad that my husband is leaving for two weeks. I feel like the floor is getting swept out from under my feet, like those magic tricks that a guy grabs the corner of a table cloth, and flips it off the table with keeping all the settings in place. Know what I mean? The place settings jiggle a bit, but they stabilize and maintain position. That's me and the kids- place settings. (Brings to mind "I'm a little tea pot, short and stout-- here is my handle, here is my spout"...But I don't plan on getting "all steamed up" and shouting. :-})

So, we'll land on our feet after he leaves, I'm sure.
But I'm sad, and I have missed him all day already, even though he hasn't flown yet. He has been at work in Mitzpe Ramon for two days (and overnight), so it's kind of like he's been gone already.

So my mind feels kind of heavy, and my body feels sore from every day of different types of PT stuff. Today started the hydrotherapy, which I loved. I am such a water person (Pisces, after all!). But, I am sore now, even though it is much more pleasant to do the stretches underwater. Stretching stiff joints is stretching stiff joints, whether in water, or not, I guess. After each of these PT sessions, I feel kind of like the Tin Man in "The Wizard Of Oz"; you know, near the beginning, when Dorothy meets him and all he could say was "oil!" with his jaws clamped shut. Remember that? Well, that's how it feels. Oy-il!! *All* my joints are stiff, not just the thigh joint. My knees, shoulders, back... "head-shoulders-knees-and-toes--- knees and toes"... What's with me today with all the funky children's songs and movies?

Anyway, it looks like I have some sort of PT every morning of the week, through the end of December. In January I'll have a revised schedule, but this is it for the "introduction and implementation of rehabilitation". After two and a half years of pain, my body is trying to straighten up again. It's gonna take time, and a lot of work. I want to do the work, don't get me wrong. It's just that it hurts. I look forward to the time when I'll tell you it doesn't hurt anymore. With the help of Gd.

The children and I will make it through these uncharted waters. And, we look forward to getting firmly back on land afterward. With a steady tablecloth under all the place settings. :-)


  1. I am praying for you to have a good two weeks while your hubby is gone. As for the PT, I'd bet that after a couple weeks your body will get used to the new exercises and stretches and it'll get easier.

  2. I would try and keep focused on getting by an hour at a time and then reward yourself. To make it through dinner hour and homework time and bedtime without being overwhelmed and reactive can be a real challenge... especially when we're tired. Be like water. I'll try and follow my own advice too. XXXOOO Dev

  3. I have 2 comments:

    1) I know your challenges are not the ordinary ones, so this may not be relevant at all, but J used to travel a lot, and no matter how hard a time a I was having when he was home, I always found that I was somehow higher-functioning when he was away. I hope that you find that to be the case as well!

    2) You know how you tell mothers that the pain of birthing is different than ordinary pain, because it is not caused by injury, but rather is productive? Maybe it would help you to think about the PT soreness in the same way (I have no idea what it feels like, and maybe it's not that good post-exercise pain that I'm thinking of, but if it is, maybe reframing it would help make it more bearable).

    Oh, and one more thing -- maybe your kids can be farmed out one by one to their friends' families for Chanuka outings, at least some of the time? Then they'd get some fun, you'd get a break, and nobody will have too much of a burden.

    Good luck!

    Love, D

  4. Jackie Pellegrino, Oct98December 2, 2009 at 7:15 PM

    What a gift you are giving Robert by supporting this trip. A loving gift from a loving wife. Hang in there. Hopefully the time will fly by!