Monday, March 8, 2010

Ending with system overload, I may have to reboot... again.

I did call my doctor this morning about all the "shifting world"/dizziness issues that have been happening. She said that it didn't seem to be a side effect she was familiar with when tapering off the particular medicine I am weaning off. Today is actually day two (out of four) without it in my system at all, and it is so bad that I can't even work- I canceled my clients for tonight. I hardly *ever* do that. I can only lie down to deal with this. Along with my respiratory caughing/phlegmy thing going on, I am pretty much out of sorts in a big way.

Then later Robert looked up on the internet about this particular medicine and weaning off of it. There was a list of which I had many symptoms, including dizziness and sort of an occasional electric shock feeling in my head. I guess my doctor wasn't so 'in the know' about this. Not helpful. Now I am concerned about starting the new medicine, which is supposed to be this Thursday for the first dose.

I am now trying to get in touch with the pain specialist woman who I met with a few weeks ago- the one from Toronto. I want her guidance here with this. For instance; taking into account that the weaning process had been hard on my system (not to mention emotional havoc, as well), is starting the new medicine coming at the right time? Is the dose she recommended appropriate?

It is scary starting a new medicine. I am on the job here; teaching two couples, driving kids to activities, being full time Mom and working as well. I do have a babysitter, thankfully, and for the time being she is able to give us a commitment. She is the same one who had to leave us months ago when her father passed away. She came back. :-) Don't know for how long; things are complicated with her life, too. But for now, we have her around, and we are happy about that.

So, I will be in touch with the Toronto doctor and hopefully get reassuring guidance that all is within normal expectations.

And about the consult today with Prof. Rosenberg at Soroka; it went well. There are basically three procedures that are being discussed. One is the gyn surgery, the other is fixing the hernia of the stomach wall muscle. [might I add here that this stomach wall hernia-- about 4 inches in length-- only occurred as a result of the NF debridement surgery. Fix a little tiny hernia, get a huge one in it's wake.] The last surgery, and most complicated, would be the reconstruction surgery to close gapey, should I choose to do it.

He recommended for me first to do the hernia surgery with the gyn surgery at one time. It could be laproscopic, and it seemed like a simple enough thing to do. He said that one general surgeon could do both at once.

And if I choose to go with the reconstruction with gapey, that would be a separate event, with no internal surgeries whatsoever. Just skin. He explained the importance regarding contamination when dealing with skin surgery, that nothing internal should be done at the same time. I get that-- makes sense. And the reconstruction would most likely be two surgeries; one to implant tissue expanders, which would be expanded weekly (balloons filled with saline, blown up incrementally week by week), and after 3 or 4 weeks of that then the reconstruction of the whole area.

At the moment, I am scared of reconstruction. I am putting that on a back burner. It is purely cosmetic (read: emotional reasons), and therefore much harder to make a decision.

I will probably start the process for the other stuff. I need the gyn surgery for sure, and if fixing the shelf-like bulge hernia in the stomach wall muscle can be done at the same time, I'll probably opt for that. But I gotta tell you- the whole "hernia fix" issue brings me the heebie-jeebies. But I gotta deal with it- I think fixing that would definitely improve my quality of life.

On Wednesday I have an appointment to see my family doctor, and I'll get a referral for a surgical consult. Truthfully I'd prefer to do it at Ichilov, but the national insurance wouldn't cover it. Our private insurance would cover a portion of it, but there are other issues about being in Tel Aviv; no Robert, traveling home afterward and other issues as well. I don't even think the insurance would cover a surgical consult in Ichilov, it'd all have to be private. Again, thank Gd I am not in any strict time frame to do this, so I can make informed decisions at the right times. Well, the gyn surgery is a bit of a time thing, though. I should do that soon. And I wouldn't go to all that trouble and not fix the hernia. Sooooo, round-n-round we go in Sarah's thought process. I guess I am looking at the time frame after Passover.

But then there are the two births. Then I have to practice for the orchestra gigs. Ummm, system does not compute. Overload. Shut down.

Good night.

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