Friday, June 18, 2010


I am OK, relatively speaking.
But there are close relatives, and there are distant relatives... get what I'm saying?

I don't know what is going on with me, or, if, indeed anything is going on, but my relation to what is normal for me has been a bit further these days than what I am used to.

I am very low on energy. *Very* low. And my stomach isn't right yet. My appetite continues to be low, and I am sleeping so much. (and no, I am not at all depressed these days. Not part of the picture, thank Gd).

Yesterday, Shabbat, went like this:
I woke up from the children quarreling (nice word, right?) downstairs. Looked around and realized that Robert was gone, then remembered that it was Shabbat. My brain was so fuzzy that I decided to let the kids work out the problem by themselves (also a euphemism for 'tried to ignore the problem'). I went back into a deep sleep, I don't know how long, and was then awakened by a very short, worried little boy telling me that the bathroom door was off and his brothers are fighting. OK, there is no ignoring this one.

After I tried my best to neutralize the problem, Dov got the door back on the hinges, and I had no choice other than to try to get these kids *out of the house* before they take more of it down with them.

So I kept the wounded (ego, only) child with me, got myself together and walked to shul (synagogue). My leg hurt.

I did a little of the social thing in shul (the davening was finished when we arrived), then we walked home. I felt more and more unable to walk. It was a combination of leg pain, and complete, utter exhaustion. I walked slower and slower, and finally made it home, and fell into the couch.

Robert made a quick kiddush so we could have a nosh before the lunch was heated up. I drank, had some crackers, and had to excuse myself to go to bed.

I slept from 12:45 until 6:00 PM. Straight.
Then I got up, tried to eat (no appetite, though), and tried to hang with my children for third meal. Turned out that Ya'akov made the meal- I was just so tired. He opened some tuna, took out the bread, humus, made a nice salad, and the like. Good kid.

As soon as Robert walked in the door, I took another exit back to my bed. I nodded off again.

I woke briefly at around 10, and Robert & I played a card game we hadn't played in a long time. By midnight I was out again. I had to end the game early, I was fading away, he wasn't. (but I was winning :-)).

Today I woke at around 9:30am (or was it 10?), and I ate eggs and toast. Now it is almost 1pm, and I am head-spinning exhausted again.

What is the deal with the no-energy thing? I can't stay awake.
Boy, when my body speaks, it is *loud*.

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