This Hurts (yes, still... lots).

Being warned about pain and actually dealing with the reality are two *totally* different things, you know? (No, I hope you don't know).

Today was a Very Hard Pain Day. Again, I could barely breathe because it hurt so much. Tomorrow will mark three weeks since surgery, but holy cow-- you'd never, based only on my pain level. I gotta be patient (as if I haven't been!)

A good friend came to visit today, which was great. And similar to the other friend who had a yen to do our laundry, this friend just couldn't keep herself away from our sink which was towering with dishes. Thanks, H. :-)

I tried a pain med today that I hadn't taken in a while-- I thought it had such a low dose of narcotic that it'd work fine. I took "Algolysin Forte". I got really nauseous. It has a small amount of synthetic methadone, and I was sick! I am the one who practically lived on Percocet when the PVNS got bad last year. I could always take morphine, and now I can't. Last Sunday in the hospital sealed that deal for me.

And when the pain is at this level, I get desperate for relief.
I used a Voltarin a bit later, and it helped a tiny smidge. Not enough, though. I need to go to sleep to escape this pain. But last night I was up a lot because of it. The night before, also, for that matter.

So while my friend was here today we talked about if I was supposed to have any more follow-up appointments with Dr. Szold (the surgeon) or not. I didn't actually know, so I called his office. They told me to call his nurse. So I did that, and told her I am having tremendous pain, but no other "red flag" symptoms. She remembered me well with kindness in her voice, and that was comforting. She even remembered which room I was in at the hospital after the surgery. So she said she'd get back to me in a half hour after talking to Dr. Szold.

Then in about a half hour I got a call from Dr. Szold-- very efficient and appreciated. I just told him that I am still in lots of pain, and is this normal? He reiterated that last week in Ichilov they did a scan and decided that the fluid collection was not worrisome. He said I should see my family doctor about appropriate pain meds. I told him that I am still not up and around much, and when I do get up it is very limited because of pain. He said that it is unusual for this kind of pain three weeks after surgery, but that's what it is for me, and we have to be patient.

Ugh!!!!!!!!!!! It hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like doubled-over, yelling pain. Yes, I still yelp out when it gets sharp. It literally takes my breath away.

This will heal.
This will heal.
This will heal.
This will heal.