Tuesday, September 28, 2010


I just saw a movie about the life of Hanna Senesh-- an Israeli paratrooper who was captured, tried, and executed for treason, trying to get European Jews out of Europe and save them from Hitler. She was one of the bravest women of our times.

Made me feel pretty un-brave. I complain a lot... medical problems. Pain. Letting it all slow me down, even to a stop, often.

Brave means that you stay strong for the people or purpose in life you feel the strongest about, no matter what obstacles are in your way.

I still feel sorry for myself, don't I. My pain defeats me, and it defines me, to my inner self, anyway. I am in quite a pickle with the merry-go-round of these diseases.

Maybe I should quiet down already. Stop writing the blog.
Start the book?
It's just that I don't feel the least bit brave. What do I have to offer, anyway, besides difficult, unfortunate experiences and what I learned from them. She (Senesh) was a hero in every sense of the word. (I had also read the book about her when I first came to live in Israel.)

I am just playing the cards that were dealt me. I didn't choose the cards like she did.

I used to say that anyone can play horn like I do... if you spent as many hundreds of hours in a practice room and had the phenomenal teachers I have had, you'd also play well. But maybe that's not a true statement?

What makes a real modern day hero, anyway?


  1. Oh dear, brave doesn't mean being everything for everyone. It means doing your best in the face of the obstacles. Keep writing in whatever forum is most healing for you. If it happens to be here, I'll be here reading about your journey. Thanks for sharing it.

  2. I tell my kids being brave means doing something even when you are scared. With this definition, you are very brave. You would never have had your surgery had you not been brave; very brave.