Thursday, February 10, 2011


I feel like I finally get to write those posts that I tried to write so many times the past few years. I feel like... I am really on the other side of this all.

The stuff I am dealing with now-- some connected to the NF, and some to the PVNS-- feels different. It feels like annoying stuff I have to deal with, but it isn't engulfing my world like my medical issues have for so long.

What is engulfing my world is the amazement of being stronger. I mean, having spent so much time sick, weak, recovering from surgeries, or in awful pain, having this strength now is just filled with incredible awe and appreciation. Yes, that is the word I've been looking for. Appreciation for the strength itself.

I feel like I now have the full-fledged right to give testimonial to the deep truth that there are no accidents in our world.

There are tragedies, traumas, atrocities, for sure. Even potty training "accidents" aren't accidents; they happen because the child is doing what is natural for him to do at the time. It isn't an accident.

None of this was/is an accident. It is Gd showing me how to live.
I feel honored and blessed that I got to see the message and still have time to live it.

Now I have to live it.
There is no other way for me to show my gratitude to Hashem than to live the lessons I've been taught.

If life were a school, you could say that I skipped classes and went straight to the tests. There were many, many tests, and make-up tests for the ones I failed. (and science experiments that blew up in my face before the science fair!)

I learned from the school of hard knocks.

And I feel like I can say that I've graduated. At least to the next level.
And just as a student feels more sure of himself in college than he did in high school, so do I going on to my next school.

I'm majoring in writing my book. :-)

mini health update: 
urinary tract still has bad bacteria, still multiplying rapidly. The last bacteria count from the culture was much higher than it was last week. Started on a new antibiotic tonight called "macrodantin". Never took it before. Let's hope it works!

Sunday going to Tel Aviv to Prof. Meller to discuss the findings of my recent MRI. We are hoping to hear there has been no re-growth of the PVNS tumor. 

Nephrologist appointment in the near future. Results from both kidney scans also soon. I do have results from one of them: kidneys functioning together 100%.. Not 50-50,  but coordinating together to make 100% function.
Second scan results not in yet.

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