Friday, November 18, 2011

The step down to 5mg- Lamictal

Today: (Robert home, I'm not alone, Thank Gd.)
  • was up with insomnia last night, slept from 5am until noon.
  • got myself together, no nausea.
  • made lunch for my kids.
  • had a very, very hard time concentrating on anything, felt extremely frail and raw.
  • having forgotten an important part of my son's evening, I left it unplanned, un-thoughtout, and I broke... (the problem is that it is impossible to know what will make me break in this condition, but a failure in taking care of my children's needs will for sure do that.)
  • wound up in complete and total breakdown. I have no emotional immune system.
  • with Robert's advice, I took another 5mg pill.
  • went to bed. Tried to sleep.
  • was invaded by hallucinations... violent.
  • got out of bed, exhausted.
soon traveling to Jerusalem for a memorial service for my friend RivkA, zihcra livracha, who passed away a year ago.

Hopefully seeing a doctor tomorrow who may be able to help me with this horrible weaning.

1 comment :

  1. I love you so much and am so sorry to hear about all this suffering. Please accept my apologies again for causing even more pain in your life. You don't deserve that. I feel black-hearted and repentant. But it doesn't repair the trust you lost in me. That will only come with time. I know that. And I'm not going anywhere. -M