Monday, December 5, 2011

contradictions attract... so I *am* in balance, actually!

In re-reading my last blog post, I ralized that I wrote about this past Shabbat, that I didn't have a nap. It was phrased in a way that said that was one of the "manic" sort of things going on.

But, about a month ago, I wrote how disappointed I was that I took a long nap on Shabbat and missed out on spending time with my guests.

Interestingly enough, these were the same guests. So, for the record, I am happy I didn't sleep this time through the aftrnoon ahours that we all hung out together. :-)

It seems like it was a contradiction. I guess feeling one way is valid, then feeling the other way is also valid, right? Even if they contradict. (MM-- winking at you...)

My life isn't "manic"... I don't think. I don't want a label, and then some change in meds. I did make the appointment with the shrink I don't like so much; she has been the one for three years now, so she is it, unless I want to change. Which I might.
Point is that I want to stay for a bit on the low-dose Lamictal I am on, and see what happens in a longer run... like 4 or 5 months. I want to stay on the drug regimen I am on now-- I think it'll be OK for me, B'ezrat Hashem.

I got up early with the children this morning (no choice- Robert stays at work overnight Sundays). That went well.... and I had a nice walk with Emma. Now, 10:15, I am going to the gym. First time in aaaay-ges.

Hip pain at a slightly higher level because of getting less sleep. That always happens. Hopefully the pool will help.


1 comment :

  1. hi Sare,
    I really do there is such a thing as feeling "manic", even if we are not super-productive when feeling it... it's like being on a lot of caffeine. Whether you have the nap or not, the feeling itself and its' intensity is worth evaluating.
    gotta go, miss you!
    dev from nj