Monday, August 20, 2012

back home from urgent care

I had taken with me my tooth brush/bathroom stuff and a change of "essentials" to this trip to the doctor. I was joined by a great friend for the appointment, filling in for Robert. She was great company, and since we had a sizable wait for the doctor, we got to drink a coke and catch up on our life's details. That was great. Thanks again, JQ!

I didn't know if I'd be admitted to the hospital after being seen today (these things happen to me), so I brought my stuff just in case The Spot needed to be cut off immediately. I have a fever and a black lump (which, BTW, started bleeding today), and because of my history, I was thinking the worst. I am not alone in that department with other NF survivors; this sort of thing sends us into a panic- throwing up joined with fever joined with a suspicious black spot on the skin near the NF site... yeah, you get the picture. Black skin things, to my eye, yell "I am necrotic"!

What a thing.

So the doctor, who I had never met before, was very sure that my sickness and the spot are not related. He said the spot does not at all appear to be infected. I probably have a virus or something. However, he wasn't sure *what* it actually is. He offered up that maybe it is a vein/blood clot, or a melanoma. He said it does need to come off and be checked, but when I am better.

His hands shook, he was old enough that I think he should be retired. He spoke so quietly and abstrusely that it was a challenge to hear what he was saying. And he was trite with me: "You look agitated. Relax, go home, eat a nice dinner, turn on the TV, you are fine." Yeah, thanks, buddy. I am SICK! remember? I feel awful, remember? I just told you that! You have no clue, do you. But the ickiest thing... when I went to the exam table, he hadn't pulled the paper off from the last patient!!!!! Ewwwwww!

One thing I know for sure is that *he* won't be coming near me with a knife!

This evening my regular doctor did call me back from the message I had left this morning. That was great. He wants to see me anyway, even though I went to urgent care today and already saw someone. This doctor knows my entire history and I (and Robert) would be more comfortable seeing him. So tomorrow I'll maybe know more about The Spot. I do want it off, it is ominous looking. And it needs to be biopsied in order for me to feel better.

In the mean time, I missed a wedding today of the daughter of a very dear friend. This daughter was once a beloved babysitter of ours, and I have watched her grow up! I was sad to have missed it.

I want this fevery chills/sweating/achey-ness to go away. And I also want my suspicions about The Spot gone.

More when I know more.


  1. Thank you for making the time to keep the rest of us informed. May you soon have these new challenges safely in the past.


  2. Xxxooo
    Hang in there sare. Begone d--m spot!
    Please keep writing!