Lots of times pills can help. None of us want to take them, and for me, adding more medicine always gets my back up and I am against it. But in this case, it seems to be doing the job I need it to do.
All last week, actually since I started taking the new nerve pain medicine, I've had stomach problems. Last week brought with it lots of nausea, too. Isn't nausea awful? Like, it's one of those things that you can't sympathize with unless you are experiencing it because it is unlike any other discomfort we can go through. Nausea stops me doing my life. It puts me in a place that I can barely talk for fear that the next stage will be triggered. So when this pill, which *does* work against the nerve pain (a rarity these past months) was giving me awful, persistent nausea, and the occasional awful 'natural end of nausea', I called Dr. Z to see what can be done. I thought, after a particularly hard morning of not keeping anything down, that there is nothing that can be done except try the next nerve pain medicine on his magic list he carries in his head. I told him what was going on. But, when I told him that the medicine *is* actually working against the nerve pain, he wasn't ready to throw out the baby with the bathwater, so to speak. He said to try a medicine, which I have been given lots while in hospitals, called Pramine. It is an anti-nausea med. I take it before the nerve-pain medicine each time. Although I really am against adding more meds, if we were going to stay on this medicine, something had to be done.
Poof! The nausea is gone! The unsettled stomach went away! Like magic.
Dr. Z suggested I take it together with the nerve-pain med for two weeks, then try to go off it and see where we are at. It is possible that these side effects can blow over once the body gets used to it. For the time being, though, I am so relieved that the persistent nausea and awful end result of said nausea is gone. We'll stick with the plan of taking the Pramine before the nerve pain medicine for a while and see what happens. The medicine for nerve pain is so effective, even a few days ago when I skipped a whole day because it was making me so sick, I still had no nerve pain returning for that day. We'll stick with that, and take the other med to control the nausea. Not optimal, I know, but none of this is, is it.
I had a great Shabbat! It is the first one in ages where I wasn't suffering with pain, and staying in bed. I even walked to & from shul, specifically to hear the Torah reader. He ready beautifully humbly and his sing-song style really resonates with my soul. I made it half way through and heard it! Very proud of myself.
We had guests, and I really enjoyed myself, Baruch Hashem.
Such a stark difference from the agony of last week.
I had to dope myself up just for the privilege of using my legs. I
was sure that at some point this week I'd wind up in the ER in Ichilov
doing emergency surgery to put my hip back together. That is how it felt, like something came undone from something else.
Thank Gd it didn't play put that way- there was an amazing turn around,
which blows my mind to try to understand. What *was* that last week?
We'll see on the MRI I suppose.
This week is starting out well. I am happy about that.
I am happy that my kids got into bed with me today.
I am happy that I could comfort Azriel when he came up to us at 3am, crying, with a puffy, sleepy little kid face, telling me about his bad dream about snakes and bugs all over the floor.
It was so cozy to take him into bed next to me and have him drift off with his little arm and hand on my arm.
Then at the end of Shabbat when we sing after Havdalah (ceremony which is done at the end of Shabbat), I put my arm over my oldest son's shoulders, and he put his over mine. That felt so great; for once I felt like his mother again, and he felt like my son. When they get older, and Dov's voice is deep, and he's taller than me, we mothers begin to feel that distance that begins with having a child mature, going out on his own more & more. Putting my arm on him made me feel like he is my kid again. I am least physical with him, so when something like that succeeds, it is so pure and good.
With blessings for a good week for all!!
Signing off.... with gratitude.
- Be'er Sheva, Israel
- Being a doula, I regularly witness miracles. I see blood, sweat and tears, and at the same time, euphoric joy and awe. I help birth babies. I'm also an established orchestra musician, and a religious Zionist. In May 2007 I almost died. I had hernia surgery, and developed an infection 4 days later. It progressed to Necrotizing Faciitis (NF) and I landed in the ICU on a respirator. I woke up from the coma, slowly understanding that I had serious body damage, but everyone was glad to see me alive. Slowly the implications sunk in. While in hospital, my SIL started a website hosted by CaringBridge.org to inform friends and family of progress. When I came home, I took over writing. The posts were filled with blood, sweat, fears, and many tears. It started to feel like I was blogging, rather than simply disseminating information on my well being. This blog was born, about the next phase of healing. The original illness is over, but in the aftermath, I am fighting more rare diseases, and needing more surgeries. There are elements of illness-induced loneliness and pain, as well as plenty of faith and hope. I invite you to join me on my journey!