- Got back to the gym, renewed my membership! Went swimming (for fitness) for the first time in a year. My bones and joints creaked, but I just breathed into the aches, and went slowly. It was *awesome*. I look forward to getting back into the swing of things.
- painted the wall of Dov's room which he has been asking to paint! That wall had cute wallpaper of Noah's ark... no longer suitable; he's 14 year's old. He has been asking me for a while. I steamed the paper off, then filled in holes and painted! Dov painted, too. Came out great. I even got up on a ladder (but that part was scary).
- went through bags and bags of second-hand clothing which I have had to do for months now and have been procrastinating. Got it all organized with gender, age, and season labels.
- Took Dov to the podiatrist to take care of his ingrown toenails. I know this seems like a regular thing mommies have to do, and indeed it is, but I have such a hard time remembering to make appointments for my kids. I write it down, they remind me, but my mind is so mushy that I forget until the situation gets worse.
- Had three visits with a friend in the hospital recovering from a surgery. Saw the surgeon from the NF each time (what are the odds of *that*?), and brushed it off easily. Still makes me feel oogie to see him, though. The first millisecond of seeing him, I get this bottoming out feeling in my body, along with surprise. Then we both act as if it is normal, but there is nothing normal about being chit-chatty with him. I left unscathed.
Each day was met with EXHAUSTING evenings where I turned in at 7 or 8. The nanny was here to continue on the evening with the kids. It must be the CMV that is wiping me out. Or is it? I wonder if I will feel when that virus is out of my system; I am exhausted so much from all the meds and everything, I am curious to know if there will be a difference.
Today, Shabbat afternoon, in a poem, if you will indulge me. :)
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Took the kids to the park today.
They skipped, while I knew the walk was too far away.
The little one wanted to play ball with me.
As I sat, he made up rules to play a game together, with however I can be.
The day melted into evening and I knew we must get home,
I wondered how I'd do all that walking, as I sat there on the stone.
A friends' apartment close by,
with dreams of a couch and hot chocolate to soothe my sore thigh.
Up three flights of stairs holds the hope of seeing friendly faces,
A few knocks on the door, I hear my friend snore, we turn around to retrace our paces.
Next friend's house further down the way home,
An answer at the door! Though my friend is not home, her daughter's face happily shone.
We took her up on her offer of hospitality,
I rested, drank hot chocolate; Azriel eventually rested with me.
We stayed until nightfall, got picked up by abba.
I went right to bed, leaving Robert taking care of the children's nighttime saga.
The trade off is this: walking kids to a park on Shabbat afternoon,
Then absent for bedtime intimacy with the children and their loony-tunes.
A life with less trade-offs I dream can be had,