I am challenged to believe that the health problems I go through, and consequently my family has to go through with me, are all part of the Plan. I have to take what I need for my health, and pray that what I have left to give is exactly what they need.
That is a little prelude to report, again, that I am laid up in bed. I have had a stomach flu, and haven't been able to eat much in a few days. Truth is that all week I haven't felt well, having not regained my strength back yet. A few days ago, though, I got hit hard with nausea and ...it's conclusion. A few times. Robert was afraid something Big was wrong, but I somehow knew that this was happening because my immune system was weak, and still prone to whatever is flying around. Most of this week I felt awful with some sort of low-grade fever, then this flu thing hit. In short, I am not out of the woods since I had that infection a few weeks ago.
Now that I have had yet another few days in bed, I am so scared of all the strength I have lost this passed month. I need my strength. I *want* my strength... even though when I was stronger that was still with all the meds and everything. Now I realize that *that* is what I aspire to.
I can't actually write so much because it hurts my eyes and makes me a bit nauseous to look at the screen.
I'll just put up a few great pictures of Ya'akov with his NEW tallis (prayer shawl) and t'fillin (look here, I can't really describe this one well). When a Jewish boy has his BarMitzvah, he takes upon himself all the commandments (mitzvot) which Hashem has given the Jews. The commandments include praying every day wearing these items. It is a very special occasion for the BarMitzvah boy to receive his first tallis and t'fillin. Here is my sweet boy, and his older brother helping to teach him how it goes. Robert primarily taught him, but I have that captured only on film, in movie format. So, the stills I have are with Dov helping out Ya'akov. I am such a proud mommy. :)
- Be'er Sheva, Israel
- Being a doula, I regularly witness miracles. I see blood, sweat and tears, and at the same time, euphoric joy and awe. I help birth babies. I'm also an established orchestra musician, and a religious Zionist. In May 2007 I almost died. I had hernia surgery, and developed an infection 4 days later. It progressed to Necrotizing Faciitis (NF) and I landed in the ICU on a respirator. I woke up from the coma, slowly understanding that I had serious body damage, but everyone was glad to see me alive. Slowly the implications sunk in. While in hospital, my SIL started a website hosted by CaringBridge.org to inform friends and family of progress. When I came home, I took over writing. The posts were filled with blood, sweat, fears, and many tears. It started to feel like I was blogging, rather than simply disseminating information on my well being. This blog was born, about the next phase of healing. The original illness is over, but in the aftermath, I am fighting more rare diseases, and needing more surgeries. There are elements of illness-induced loneliness and pain, as well as plenty of faith and hope. I invite you to join me on my journey!