Imagine

Just got back from my last surgeon appointment in Manhattan.

We're staying with our friends in New Jersey now...I've known her since high school, so it's like coming home. :) The previous family we stayed with was for 12 days, and they were so nice to us and hospitable, I am deeply touched. Then we did the "passing off of the Israelis", where the previous hosts brought us to New Jersey, and the new hosts picked us up from the drop off point and our luggage got transferred from car to car. I just have lots of gratitude for all the help and hosting that has come our way. It hasn't been easy. We are now at the sixth place we've slept at since we landed on June 20th. Yeah, it's been rough. And I've been very homesick...homesick for my kids, for my awesome bedroom, for my yummy bed, for my own bathroom. You understand, right?  I know you do.

Anyway, the surgeons appointment....

I am now staple-free and stitches-free, and got all my questions answered. I am free to travel, but I have to be very careful not to overtax my stomach muscles. I use the wheelchairs in the airports anyway, and we are flying business class so I can lie down. I can't do any exercise for a few more months, I have to still wear the abdominal binders 24/7 which is hard. It adds a lot of girth to my new abdomen, but it is necessary. Those can begin to have time reduced in another 6 weeks. These compression bandages have a lot to do with how my healing goes, so it's abdominal binders for me for a long time. It's complicated because when they are off (after a shower), I need help from a second person to get them back on, so someone intimate with me (really only Robert) has to be home when I shower. OK, we'll have to work around that.

There are lots of do's and don'ts I have to follow. Can't drive for a while when I get back, too, until about six weeks from surgery, which is another three weeks. That'll be hard to manage, but it's all doable. At least there is no school right now. No exercising, no horn playing, but it'll all heal in good time. I have patience, no choice!

So now I seem to have figured out that my migraines were from gluten/dairy/ and night shade vegetables. I get far fewer headaches than I ever got before, and when I do get them, I can trace it back to something I ate. I can't always control the headaches, but I try hard to control my diet, and that certainly helps.

Why bring that up now, seems like a non-sequitur, right? Well, I put that in there because it is a lead-in to how life could very well take a huge turn if this stomach surgery really worked to take away the two year pain I've had. We won't know that for a while, we're in a waiting period right now. But what if....? My whole relationship with pain, and with life will change. It's a little fantastical to think about, but if my major pain from my every day life is for the large part GONE, then....then.... the sky is the limit as far as life! I can live the life I've been wanting to live. I can be there for my kids activities, for their awake hours, cook, just show up for life. Never mind that I might consider teaching pre-natal classes again, or playing horn again, but just having that as an option is blowing my mind. Honestly it hasn't sunk in yet that I may have just gotten fixed for good. OK, I still have hip problems, and that might need to be taken care of, but it's not constant pain. I don't know life without constant pain for twelve years now. And this procedure, this might have fixed my gut problems. And the dietary stuff has predominantly worked out my migraine issues, so.....so...... wow. Can you just imagine?

It will also free up Robert to do his PhD that he has wanted to do. There are dreams in the Klein family that have been on hold for years because of my suffering. I'm sure the kids have dreams, too. I know they do, and it involves having an un-sick mommy. Can you imagine.

Let's imagine together..... the future, for the first time in may many years, might look bright.

(I just wish my first cousin didn't have cancer, and my 98 year old aunt wasn't suffering, but I can only pray for them and hopefully spread the wealth of health).

So again, let's imagine together.