**18mmg** ...and holding steady!
Finally, under 20! (Down from 100mmg!!!!)
That is the dose I am at now, which I went to three days ago. 18mmg.
I have a new goal, borne from impatience. I want to aim for total zero... no Fentanyl at all... by Pesach (Passover, in two weeks). From 18 I have three more doses to take off. I won't wait two weeks between them all, I am so out of patience for this. A headache every day is just over what I can handle on a regular basis. I want to do three doses in two weeks, but I'll see how it goes. When it feels right to take off another dose, I will. I'm not going to enforce the two-week plan any more.
I am going to see my GP tomorrow morning. I have some important things to ask her, and I haven't spoken with any doctor regarding the weaning since I started it 5 or so months ago. It's time for another blood-draw, too. I want to talk to her about the constant daily headaches, and make sure she agrees with me that it's from the weaning. How could it not be? Other side effects to discuss, as well.
As for the pain I am experiencing regularly, I am handling it as it comes. Fentanyl is no longer the answer, I just have to handle it. And reach out for help, like from this naturopath I am going to this Wed... I hope he can help with dietary suggestions which could take down inflammation (90% of the mechanism which causes chronic pain is from inflammation), help me with more energy, get my iron up to par (I've been struggling with slight anemia for a long time now, my diet stinks, and iron pills are awful for someone on narcotics- wreaks havok on the digestive system. That was o-u-t.), and I just want to feel like I look forward to the day. Depression holds a dark cloud over that feeling of looking forward to getting out of bed. I just want to be OFF the Fentanyl already. I've had no real monitoring since I've started this, but I haven't really needed any. It's good that I will catch my doctor up on what has been going on.
With the holiday which celebrates freedom from slavery, I pray that my personal freedom will be granted me by being off the fentanyl. That is one slavery to which I can happily throw off the yoke.
On this Pesach season, tell me what your personal freedoms may be. I'd love to hear them.
