Sunday, November 16, 2008

weary from The Chase

Sunday is here and almost gone, and I haven't heard from the therapist, or the person who is supposed to be in touch about starting the TMS treatments. Am I supposed to go chasing this help? I can't stand that. I'll call tomorrow, though, like it or not.

Truth be told, I have been feeling a lot better emotionally these past few days, praise the Good Lord. I am quite sure that having Emma around me all the time has helped tremendously. It is amazing, actually, how much simple, loving companionship from this dog can make me just feel grounded and relieved. I know that doesn't mean I don't need some help, but I'm just stating the parts to be grateful for.

Often my systems take turns demanding my focus. Does this happen to everyone? If the emotional side is steady, the physical stuff kicks up again. Or is it just that I can deal more with the physical problems when I am more stable emotionally? It's probably that, actually.

A few days ago I went back to the ENT about the hearing problem. Final treatment suggestion is to get to a specialist to get a small hearing aid sized thing that provides a "mask", basically white noise. It is supposed to help desensitize from the acute noise sensitivity problem. I have yet to call this specialist. Interestingly enough, he is the ENT who took out Dov's tonsils & adenoids, and may do Azriel's.

Today I finally got to my family doctor today about the swelling & pain that I have had for months on my left thigh. It is a grapefruit sized ball on the side of my thigh that is swollen and painful all the time. It has clearly defined lines, and it is exactly the place I had the cellulitis last March. Recently I have had low-grade fever every night (2 weeks or so), and can't stand on my feet anymore from about 8:30 pm, even if I've had an afternoon nap. My physiotherapist who does the lymphatic treatments worked hard on that spot last week, and it hurt so much I had to do my labor breathing. Her theory is that it is bursitis. But, after that treatment, it got worse. Today I went to the doctor and he thinks it's cellulitis again. That has been my theory, too. I have also had in the back of my mind that it is osteomyelitis, and I mentioned that to him. He said he doesn't rule it out, but doesn't want to order another bone scan yet (lots of radiation). In the meantime, he ordered an x-ray & an untrasound of the area. I called to get those appointments, and they could only give me appointments for *next month*, on the 9th. They said I could call every day if I want to check for cancellations that day and get in earlier. Call Every Day?

Again, chasing after the help I need. I don't expect that everything will be catered to my door, but I'm tired of chasing. I'm tired of needing help for so long. I'm tired.

1 comment :

  1. It sounds like you need a personal assistant. You are right to feel tired if you have to spend so much energy getting the help you need.
    The hearing aid idea sounds good. If you can just work on one issue at a time, you'll get a sense of progress.