Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A 'falling apart' day. It happens.

Tired and sore.

So hopeless feeling about being tired and sore,


Even going to the bathroom, EACH TIME, is an ordeal involving pain, pulling down & up the pressure garment over the sore thigh. I often have to hold in a yelp for the few seconds I pull it over the thigh. I just grit my teeth and try to do it fast. Every time. One day I decided to go without the garment. My hip was actually a bit better, but Gapey was awful. It hurt & itched, felt tight and foreign with it's numbness in contact with the rest of the body. Gapey needs it, but the hip problem is magnified with it on. Dorit thinks that the scar tissue behind gapey, where all the debridement took place, has grown thicker, deeper and closer to the hip. Scarring does that with time, and can explain why the pain has increased slowly over 6 or 7 months now. The doctor who I see in Soroka every 8 weeks who checks my scar & the pressure garment says that my area is still in the active healing phase, it isn't finished yet. Bursitis or compartment syndrome are the best guesses at the moment.

The pressure garment causes many problems. It makes me think about getting the plastic surgery to close gapey and improve my quality of life. But... it is dangerous. One slight nick of the exposed femoral artery, and ...trouble. The danger of infection with me being Strep A positive. The danger of having the complicated surgery fail (not stay closed) after the skin graft has already been removed. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

No MRI possibility soon, no diagnosis for my hip/thigh, that means no physical therapy to help it. I called Mark, my physical therapist from my early recovery days, and he will help, but can't touch me without an MRI. Earliest possibility is going to Jerusalem in 5 weeks to have the MRI. That is a tiring and painful option, but my earliest option so far. Soroka only gave me the end of March for an MRI. I am on the waiting list, if that'll get anywhere.

Chronic pain, day in and day out. Today, I'm not handling it so well.


  1. Today no body could handle it well!! Personally, I think you are great. And I know I would not do nearly as well as you are doing. Tomorrow the sun will shine, and that will help. Even if it doesn't know that you are a hero to lots of people!

  2. hi sara,
    we came home a few hours ago from chabad candle lighting. they say that the 5th candle is special - it can NEVER be on shabat and therefore has a special light of its own and has "sgulot".
    hope you get some extra ko'ach to go along with your amazing regular dose.
    chag sameach
    hopefully david will get to see you. he arrived this pm to jslm

  3. I am so sorry to read this!! I know all about chronic pain!!

    I will say this -- having recovered from several serious surgeries and post op complications... several times, the pain that had been accompanying me for MONTHS, disappeared with time. For a long time (over half a year), the pain seemed the same. Then, slowly (VERY slowly), it did get less.

    I do not know if this can/will happen in your case. But you can hope and pray. I am certainly praying for you.

    When you do come for the MRI, maybe we can "hang" again. We can talk more then....

    (sorry it didn't work during Chanukah -- everyone has been SICK!!) (just realized that I haven't blogged about that, but it has affected our entire Chanukah)