tired and down

Hadassa Hospital Ein Karem called today (a Jerusalem hospital) to say that I have an MRI appointment there at the end of January. It isn't April, but it's also not so soon. And it means travelling a day to Jerusalem & back. I basically lose a whole day, and get exhausted travelling, and deal with stronger leg pain because of it. I really would rather have it done in Soroka, but that hasn't moved yet. I'm supposed to call every morning to see if there are cancellations. I'm not likely to do that.

Why is getting an MRI so difficult and coveted? I don't feel like I can start treating this pain until there is a straight diagnosis. The physical therapist has to know what he/she is dealing with.

Pain, swelling, crazy fatigue, and now it seems some of my sleep problems have returned. I have had a few really bad nights with disturbing nightmares and fear (yelling out in the night). Makes life so much harder. I can't figure out why this is returning. The treatment I am supposed to get from the hospital with the TMS hasn't been followed up at all. I haven't gotten any information from them, and when Robert called once to find out about it, he was told we'd have to wait. So lame.
My new therapist, Lili, though, is working out well. She seems very good, can cut to the point, and is empathetic. I feel like I have more of a base now to build on. And it's free. Sometimes the system can work.

I am just way too tired to continue here with writing tonight. I feel like I have a lot to get out, but the fatigue just overcomes me. Taking pain medication also makes me tired, so that's also part of it, I'm sure.

At the moment I can't think of anything insightful to write, like I often do at the end of my entries. Too tired. .....ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz......(that's today's insight!)