Day 2 of ear infection

Well, between the ear drops (with a local anesthetic in them) and the Percocet today, I managed. Now it's evening and it seems as though the antibiotic may be starting to work. My last Percocet wore off already, and the pain is slightly duller. I'll take another antibiotic before I go to sleep, and hopefully tomorrow will be much better.

I gotta say, though, for whatever reason, I was/am so depressed today. Staying in bed sick reminds me of all the time I have already done that. Life just goes on suspension when you are sick. But it doesn't, really. Things have to get done still, deadlines have to be met, life has to stay afloat. I don't know, something very depressing was going on with me today. Can't pinpoint what. Today is the Gregorian calendar day of my hernia surgery. The Hebrew calendar day is on Thursday of this week. Not much to clearly say about that, but so much is stewing inside me. And being sick and in pain at this particular time (although this sick is *very* different than NF!) is, I don't know, time suspending somehow. And depressing. No particular definition of the cause, just roving, existential depression. Bleh.

Tomorrow I am going to the hospital to pick up my new pressure garment. Same as the others, it was just time to get a new one. They only last 5 months or so. And cost hundreds of shekels each time.

While I am there, I have to go to the sleep clinic to set another sleep test for Azriel. Sadly, his apnea and snoring are actually worse than they were before the adenoid surgery. I took him to the ENT surgeon last week, and he scoped him through his nose to his throat (read: *very* unpleasant and difficult to go through with Wazi). He saw that the adenoid area needs to be "scraped" again, and we may decide on tonsils after all. I am really upset about all this. First thing, though, is to analyze his sleeping again at the sleep clinic. So, while I am at the hospital tomorrow, after I pick up the pressure garment and make sure they made it right (last time the prosthetic pillow was in the wrong place), I'll go make an appointment for him at the sleep clinic.

I don't know what will get me out of this funk, but I somehow feel it's going to be a while. It may be the whole thing of the calendar time coming around again making this two years, and still it's not over. But maybe it's also fear of the unknown... what about when it *is* all over? Am I ready to be that Sarah?