Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Doin' what comes naturally

I am interested to know the outcome of the new survey I posted yesterday. Check it out at the top right of this page... thanks.

"People are born with many talents and components to their personalities", says Lily, my therapist, after I blurted out from a dusty corner of my brain "I want to write a book".

I am just not ready to leave the job title of "Patient", I still strongly identify with it; I still feel like I am a patient. The tumor is out, and PVNS may or may not come back. I am not 'strepA' positive. I have a choice weather or not to do the reconstruction surgery. Yes, I have Bursitis (and a fair amount of pain from that, I'm just taking Advil, though) and we will work on it. It is not as serious a condition as everything I've dealt with up until now. I no longer have a serious condition, but yet, I am not finished with this story.

As for my doula practice, I feel not ready to get that involved with people's lives. Not when I am so deeply involved in my own. When I am a doula for a couple, or even when I am only their pre-natal instructor, I am a big part of their lives. I receive frequent phone calls from them asking questions. I often research their particular needs so I can help them as best as I can. I talk them through early labor often with lots of encouraging support and advice, even if I am not there at the birth with them as their doula. I give much more than the scheduled hours of the course. That is why I need to revamp the course, it isn't organized well enough for me anymore.

I have a Bachelor's degree in music from Boston University, a Master's degree in French Horn Performance (with honors, might I humbly add ;-P) from New England Conservatory. I have 12 years experience in a professional orchestra behind me, as well as a music teaching certification. I also hold an international doula certification, 6 years of experience, and the only privately tailored pre-natal course in the south of Israel. But I want to write. And write a lot. This blog, as well as the CaringBridge year of writing are great springboards. I have a story to tell, and I believe it could reach many people.

I have heard of authors writing 3 chapters or so, and sending it out to publishers, hoping to get an advance to write the rest. I could do that, and with so much already written, finding a voice, piecing together and editing may not take so long.

Maybe that is my calling now. Not maybe... it sits in my heart and says "YES!". There is only one book on the market that I know of about NF. And I have looked around a fair bit on the web. I need to say it all... all.

Looks like I'll be pretty intimate with my laptop for a while. It's like a marriage; every new life stage brings you closer together and more intimate. I'm ready for the third chapter of career commitment in my life. I talk to myself: It's OK to start a new career... and I feel renewed with the decision.

Tomorrow I am going to Jerusalem for some shiurim (Torah study lectures) at the yeshiva I attended for two years while I was living there. One class is called "New beginnings", and the other is called "Happiness...what it is and what it isn't." These Rabbis leading the shiurim, I loved their classes back in my day. It just pulled me to go when I got the Alumni email notification. So, I'm going! And I'm meeting an old friend for lunch (we, she's not old, but the friendship is ;-}), then coming home. (driving Kermit) I am excited.

I also am settled at my decision to make a concerted effort to get my body back on sleeping track. To regulate my sleeping patterns, slowly and gently. Probably with the aid of sleeping pills at appropriate times, and reading in bed for night wakings, instead of fully getting up (yup, cousin DS, you're right!). It's what I need at this juncture.

Going Back to Dorit for lymphatic draining/massage/reflexology on Thursday. I haven't been there in 6 weeks.
Soon PT & hydrotherapy will start for the Bursitis. I will return to my personal trainer to start again, also... gently.
I am going to get my sleeping back on track, gently.
And I'm going to start my book.

I love playing horn, I love being a doula, and I am good at them both. I'm 41, and starting my dream to write a book.

I believe one is good at what comes naturally. I'm going with that. You coming along? :-)


  1. GO FOR IT!!!!!!
    With you all the way - here's a virtual hug to give you even more koach.
    Love, Barbara

  2. A book sounds good.
    I don't find the view I would vote for in the list on the right. The blog is for you not for me. Write as much as you want. I'll read what I can, but it seems to me that your writing is more important than my reading. A blog is not the same as a book, though.