The predictable crash

Yeah, I know. Yesterday put me over the edge, and I am off the power-streak for today. I hope nobody goes into labor.

I slept on and off until almost 1pm today. Then got up, washed, drank, ate a bit, took vitamins and medicine, and spent time talking with Robert about his father.

My father-in-law was just transferred back to the hospital, after 3 weeks of hospice care at home. Turns out that the hospice didn't care for him properly, and he is in bad shape. He is dying now more than he was dying last week. The hospital is still running tests to evaluate his situation. What we know is that he is severely dehydrated (down 7 liters, OMG), and has a bunch of other problems stemming from the problems with the hospice. My father-in-law may not make it to the end of this week. Then again, he may. We both are just so sad. Ready, but so sad. Actually, "sad" isn't adequate to cover this range of emotions.

If Robert leaves to go to America soon, I'll have to duck-out on these births. Out of my hands.

I am getting so many calls for work all-of-a-sudden. They are just pouring in. What's up with that? *And* to make things even more interesting, in the past three days, I have gotten calls from three women who have the SAME DUE DATE. I took two of them, but the one who called today I had to turn away. Along with the two I turned away in the past two days. What're the chances of three women calling for doula support with the same due dates to the same doula? ;-)

Anyway, I am back in bed now, since about 3:30pm. I am *wiped out* in a serious big way. I canceled my work-out this morning- that's how serious I am about needing to lay low today. I plan to go out at 6:30 for my lymphatic draining/massage today with Dorit. She lives a half hour away, so that'll be called a big outing for me. The session is pretty passive for me, though- it's relaxing. I haven't seen her in a few weeks, and my lymph edema is a bit puffy. I always feel so light when I am driving home from her.

Tomorrow at 8:30am I have my MRI at Soroka (thankfully I don't have to travel this time). I am anxious to do it, and to find out the results. Last MRI I did was painful with the positions they put me in, I hope this time it'll be easier. I have a gut feeling that the PVNS grew back-- it feels that way. Also I feel it in the right side. But again, I have been doing so much rehabilitation that maybe the pain and soreness is all from that. Lets pray.

Since it's the end of the year now, I have to get all my approvals for PT & hydro all over again. What an annoyance. And since I need a letter from Prof Meller to get that all in action again, I think I'll have to wait until after Jan 19th when I am due to see him again, with the results from the MRI.

With things so up-in-the-air about Robert's father, life feels so unstable. R is up late nights for conference calls with his brothers in the States (& the one here, of course), and he is naturally swallowed up in this all. I have to be extra strong, and be ready for anything.

But today I am in bed. I am creating some savings to deposit for when I'll need it. I'm sure that'll be soon. It'll be a birth, or Robert going to the US, or both, or...?

I hope there'll be enough in my "strength bank" to cover me through the hard times.