The trip wasn't traumatic, it was just hard. It wasn't traumatic for any of us, I am quite sure. But it just was a hard trip, physically and emotionally.
Azriel (my 4 year old) had some interesting questions... only children can think of these straightforward questions, and ask them so beautifully.
"If grandpa Dolph was sick and then he died, when I get sick, will I die, too?"
"How can it be that he is in Gan Eden (the Gradren of Eden) with Hashem if I saw him get put in the ground in the big box?"
"If Hashem loves us, why did he take Grandpa Dolph to Gan Eden when we want him here with us?"
I actually got a lot of fulfillment from answering his questions. I was happy to have the opportunity to have holy conversations with him, and to put into words the important life lessons that we don't often get opportunities to talk about. It was kind of like talking to a four-year-old, and kind of like talking to an adult.
Like a four-year-old adult, actually.
We are all still recovering from it, each in our own ways and nurturing our own needs. And, trying also to nurture each other's needs.
It is one of life's invaluable lessons. I wouldn't choose to exclude the family from it if given the choice again.
Hard doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. It means to me that there is an opportunity here. Take the opportunity, you will be richer for it.
Good for you. I had been wondering what happened w/ the kids and the funeral, and I'm glad to hear that they were included. It's so important that they be included even in "hard" things, because it is part of the process, and they are going through it too, like it or not.
ReplyDeleteAs always, thanks for sharing...
Love, Dena
I just caught up. I am so sorry to learn about Robert's father.
ReplyDeleteI am also distressed to read about how difficult things are for you.
I would call, but it's 12:37 at night. I'm up, and probably will be for at least another half hour.