"I did it... Myyyy Wayyyy" (I hear Frank Sinatra in my head, do you?)

I did it. I am over the withdrawal. I got my brain returned to me from the aliens who abducted it 5 days ago.

I feel like I just went through natural childbirth... that is to say, if you don't have an epidural, you feel it *all*. And just before the end, you want to give up in a serious way. I came so close to giving up yesterday. There was the insane conflicting opinions and mud-slinging from my two doctors, through me. There was the decision on my shoulders whether or not to start up the previous med again to relieve the agonizing symptoms. There were three people (two doctors and my counselor) who were telling me to hospitalize myself-- I was dehydrated, not eating, nauseous, low blood pressure... a mess.

Yesterday around 5pm I felt my throat start to swell. I was having an allergic reaction to the *new* med. In my past experience, I know that if I don't freak out, the swelling passes. My lips swelled, too, before it passed. (and *that* almost sent me to the hospital, but I waited that out, too) And last night, after the swelling passed, I felt a relief from the constant "brain zaps". It felt like a miracle.

And I did it myself in the end. I forced myself to drink lots, even ate a bit, and rode it out. I didn't cave in.

My "brain zaps" have stopped (praise the Good Lord in the Heavens), nausea passed, blood pressure feels back to normal, and I am in the land of the living again.

I am on a low dose of the new med, for the second day. No throat swelling today (yet?). PLEASE GD I am over the hump.

And lets not forget the original goal with all this hardship. (unfortunately, unlike the natural childbirth analogy, this doesn't end with a baby at the other end, but my goal is appropriate for *me*); that being that the new med will help the nerve pain in my thigh. It's called "neuropathy", and I have had it since the NF.

Results: to be announced.

I am very, very tired from all this, but... Shabbat is around the corner. Baruch Hashem.