Sunday, April 11, 2010

Emotions, old and young

Done. Both births. Today's was about 14 hours. Together between Friday at 11am till today (Sunday) at 5pm, I think I was with laboring women like 40 hours.

My head is just *filled* with these kind of video clips of these births, and emotions, and reviewing events and reactions, feelings. Birthing is so deep and literally gut-wrenching. They were good births, but totally different types of women, and the second was so much harder then the first. She is a childhood abuse survivor. This 40 year old woman was feeling about 9 years old, the whole time. I can't go into detail, but it was an emotional whirlwind. I need to decompress. I want a good massage.

Overwhelmed.
After today's birth, I went up to the post-birth ward to check on yesterday's lady and baby.

Head spinning, leg hurting down to the back of my knee, I am putting myself to sleep now.

Tomorrow breast-feeding help for two women.
In too deep, I probably will cancel the pain clinic on Tuesday. Traveling to Rechovot for a long appointment seems too much for me. But that is now.

One day at a time.

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