Picking myself up by the bootstraps again

Feeling better today, thank Gd. It seems really true about when things get dark, it's right before the sun comes out.

I just feel more together today. The pain is less also. Probably not a coincidence that when the pain is less, I feel better. So much so that I pushed myself to go swimming, and I am so glad I did. I purposely did a condensed routine, and just really enjoyed the water. My back/ kidney pain seems to have gone away magically. I am thinking that if it is this way tomorrow also, I'll cancel the ultrasound that is supposed to be Wednesday. No need to chase phantoms.

I do feel that I need to find a better solution to the hip pain. Or actually, find a solution at all. I just keep going day to day hoping it will be better today; the one-day-at-a-time method. But I am realizing that I need a long term solution. I hope the acupuncture will help. But I am also going to follow-up this time on the pain clinic. I let the ball drop a while ago because I was expecting the surgery, and I didn't know what would be afterward. Now I know what is... hip pain, together with surgery pain. I need to stop waiting for things to change, and take the preverbial bull by the prevebial horns. I don't even know what the options are for me; I've heard so many different success stories. Some people swear by morphine and it's derivatives, and I have heard that adding Gabapentin can help if I have had allergies to morphine in the past. I have done *no* research on this, and I don't feel I have space for drug research in my life. Anyway, there are many other pain control drugs, as well as nerve deadening procedures that may be right for me.

If I don't follow up on this, who will?

Or as our sage Rabbi Hillel said:

"If I'm not for myself, who will be?"