There were so many people at the hospital today that were so sick, I clearly have it really good. Thank Gd I can go and come by myself, walk on my own two legs, and take care of myself. It's quite unbelievable to realize actually *how much* there is to thank Gd about, you know?
When the cab drove up to Ichilov hospital today, I had that "here we go again" feeling. The visits with Prof. Meller are so familiar to me; the traveling to get there, the sights and markets, the cappuccino I like to get when I walk into that hospital. My head is a swirl of memories of that place; all the consultations I've had in two short years, the canceled surgery, the actual surgery, the follow-up appointments. How many times have I walked those hallways (or limped, as the case has been) with trepidation, bearing the most recent disk of my scans and tests in my shoulder bag, wondering if I'll be in tears [again] when I exit a few hours later.
Well, I was crying today when I left, but it was more out of the shear frustration of this relentless issue, and a release of the tension generated by these appointments.
Why was I crying... well, it hurt. That is frustrating. Prof. Meller ordered another MRI because I yelled during the exam when he turned my leg to the right. We just don't *do* that-- we don't turn my thigh joint to the right- it hurts, we just stay away from that. So, when he did it (I was lying on the exam table), I was caught off-guard and yelled a short yelp. I reported to him that it is much better in the water, and that I go swimming a few times a week. He agreed that that is a good thing, but we don't live in water, do we. He wants to see an MRI because the films I had were x-ray, which shows bones and dense matter, not cartilage and synovium. As soon as I can get the MRI done, I am to get it to his office (doesn't have to be in person, I can ask anyone going to Tel Aviv to bring it to Ichilov for me), and he'll have his team look at it and get back to me.
Now I have to try to get an MRI date. He assumed it'd be a month or so before I get it to him, and that is probably accurate.
I told him that I am going to a pain clinic tomorrow, and I was pleased to see that he knew of this doctor I am going to see. I asked Prof Meller if there was any problem with anesthesia pain relief for PVNS, if we go that route. He said there was no problem at all with any technique that would help the pain. I asked him if, hypothetically, I was finally out of pain (please Gd), how would I have an indication if something is wrong. Like, is it wise to be numb where there could potentially be damage occurring (by a tumor)? His answer was that I will be on follow-up MRI's for a long time, that I shouldn't worry about that.
OK, so... we'll see how tomorrow in Jerusalem goes. Wish me luck...
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