My family went to the woods to meet with Robert's brother & sister-in-law and cousins from Modi'in, and Robert's father. We had a barbeque and a picnic. It was a beautiful day.
There in Shulamit's little ancient Jerusalem room, I was floating above myself, seeing myself as I sat on a huge log together with my dear sister-in-law. I mentioned that tomorrow is the day. The kids were running around and having a great time. My father-in-law was enjoying his grandchildren.
Things were *normal*.
Then my floating self skipped all the in-between stuff, and saw me now.
It was a phenomenal experience.
What was phenomenal was what happened in a primal center of my brain, the pain center.
Shulamit asked permission to talk to that primal center.
'Floating me' granted permission, of course.
She asked of the primitive pain center: What is the fundamental belief system which makes Sarah's leg hurt so much? What is gained by keeping Sarah in pain? What is the pain protecting her from?
The answers were phenomenal. Blew my mind, what came out of my mouth. It's just that I didn't create the words. They were just coming out... the answers to these questions. There *are* answers. There are false truths for us to work with.
The answers came from the primeval center. There *are* answers.
Turning the false truths over, we came up with what we know to be the positive truths now. My mind then came up with a shape to hold the new "opposites"; the new truths.
Pitcher plants |
These plants can hold my truths. |
I saw in my mind's eye not only the pitcher plant, but a vase.
Pitcher plants take in their nutrition from their open pitchers.
A vase provides vital nutrients for the flowers inside them.
It was nothing short of... I can't find the words... warmlovingbeauty, a bath of goodness.
Emotional healing which has the promise of leading to physical healing.
With the help of God.
The only question she didn't ask was "does Sarah need the pain"?
We'd have all liked to hear that answer.
You are making great progress. Getting to know your real and false truths, and how they are different, is a major leap forward. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteEdna
Dear dear Sarah
ReplyDeleteAmazing work we did!
"Does Sarah need the pain?"
We will ask that question… and bargain and ask some more till we reach an agreement from that part of the mind. We will find a different way, until it will agree to release all pain.
You are amazing!!
Shulamit
That is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteRivka Klein DeGraaf
I once heard an accounting of a man who had horrendous phantom pain in his amputated arm. He found pain relief by using a mirror and mirroring his good arm. It was quite a long story but very interesting. I googled "mirror pain therapy" and there are multiple hits. Not that this would help you, it's just interesting to know the brain works in such weird ways (both with the idea of phantom limb pain and the mirror therapy).
ReplyDeleteSandra
Hi, Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI just caught up on your blog and as usual, there are both good wonderful things and not-so-good painful things to read about. I'm so glad you made it to Jslm to meet with Shulamit and that you got to Annette's! That's awesome. And you should continue to discover your strengths and enjoy being with your loving kids and hubby on summer outings. Just think. You have a few more promised beach outings this summer, and now that Tisha B'av is almost over, you can enjoy them. (Its the morning of Tisha B'av here, and last night we heard an amazing reading of Eicha--the rav actually cried when he got to the end. He described Am Yisrael as different fruits giving off different smells and tastes and how we must be open to all of these differences. And he talked about the complacency among US Jews. He said all the right things except "make aliyah." But then I found out that half his 12 kids are already living in Israel.)
So, I'm thinking of you today and missing you.
Love, Miriam
Hope you made it thru today psychologically intact.
ReplyDeleteThis last post sounds a bit weird to me, but if it's good for you, then go for it.