I have been AWOL for a little while, but don't worry. Life is just crazy busy now preparing for the BarMitzvah in three days! So so many things and details. Zillions of details that you forget each time you plan one of these.
Y'all told me to take it easy, get lots of rest. Know what? That is nearly impossible. *Even with* all the assistance we are gratefully accepting. I have been running from [mid]morning to late night every day.
After yesterday, though, I slept today until 1. I could have slept much more, I was so tired and sore. I forced myself to get up because... you got it... there is a lot to do.
Yesterday I had to go to Tel Aviv to the surgeon who did the mesh surgery. It was a follow-up from the infection/hospitalization a month ago. (I'll tell you about that in a bit). I got up and out, traveled, took a cab, then wound up walking about 15 minutes when I was told I was in the wrong building. I had gone to the same building I met him in the few times before, but now his office changed. Who knew. After the appointment I went to get some lunch, then caught a cab back to the train station, changed trains once, and got to Be'er Sheva. Drove home from the station, exhausted. Once home, the babysitter was there, but still I was bombarded with stuff I needed to handle. Just going and going, on empty.
The usual price (odd as it may sound) for being dead tired and on my feet too long is that I have a hard time settling down to sleep at night. It's like my motor is on overdrive, and although I may sit down at 10 or 10:30 PM, my body gets relief by resting, but my mind spins. It throws me off.
Last night I put out a desperate plea on our "Be'er Sheva Anglo" Yahoo list for an urgent house cleaner for today (we don't have a cleaner). Guess what? I was so surprised- I thought for sure this was a dead end wish- but a very supportive and generous-hearted friend offered to send her Tuesday cleaner over to my house instead of having her come to her. So wonderful!! So, gratefully, the house is clean, and I am not a wreck about it.
The list is getting shorter, thank Gd, but it's not done. Ya'akov's shoes aren't as comfortable as he thought they were when he tried them on, his new glasses have to be adjusted, a pile of books we need for the party need to be picked up from the store, music needs to be condensed onto one disk (time-consuming), and pictures of him need to be scanned and put onto a disk in order to do a presentation of the chronology of Ya'akov's 13 years. I know we can do without that, and we did not have one for Dov's BarMitzvah, but I felt that it was a pity. These things only happen once in a lifetime.
Tomorrow evening is uncles-from-America-arriving time! So far only one of Robert's brothers is staying with us (we are hoping that the other one will come, but as of yet, unsure). My brothers chose to get a hotel room. It will be an evening of lots of excitement and hubbub, which is wonderful, but also tiring. I think everyone will be exhausted from the traveling and we'll all go to bed at a decent hour.
Anyway, after all this, here is a summation of my visit with the surgeon yesterday:
The best news is that the mesh was not involved with the cellulitis infection I had a month ago. He said the mesh is very deep under muscle, and the infection was more superficial. He guaranteed me that the type of mesh he used cannot get infected. If there would be any infection with it, that would have happened in the first week or two after surgery. He assured me that it will not be the cause of an infection. So, that means that there must have been some sort of microscopic cut or abrasion on the skin graft which let in the bacteria. That led us to the discussion of scar therapy and reconstruction. As he did two-and-a-half years ago, he recommended I do it. He said that closing up the area will help prevent this type of cellulitis from happening (that is, if I get past all the procedures leading up to, and after the surgery itself). Again, he agreed that there is no guarantee that it may reduce my nerve pain, and agreed that it isn't a simple procedure, but he reiterated that padding the mesh with layers of fat would be a good idea. Remember that he said that right after the surgery? Actually, I originally went to him saying I want the surgery for two reasons: 1) because my innards were hanging out, and 2) I wanted to go ahead with reconstruction and needed the mesh first. Remember, also, that I was considering it strongly this past fall, and went to a few plastic surgeon consults for that purpose? I put it off because of the BarMitzvah (now upon us!), and because I may need my right hip operated on (I have an "MRA" test for diagnosing that next month- April).
Anyway, no decisions, not much more clarity, but who cares. My boy is reaching a major milestone, and I am bubbling over with motherly pride for him. That is what matters most.
And health. I need to rest more. A marathon starts for me tomorrow and goes through to late Sunday night. I'm worried that even if I have to walk instead of run this marathon, I may not make it on my feet to the finish line. I'll blog afterwards. You'll hear all about it. And I'll post pictures. And everything will be fine, and blessed my Hashem.
- Be'er Sheva, Israel
- Being a doula, I regularly witness miracles. I see blood, sweat and tears, and at the same time, euphoric joy and awe. I help birth babies. I'm also an established orchestra musician, and a religious Zionist. In May 2007 I almost died. I had hernia surgery, and developed an infection 4 days later. It progressed to Necrotizing Faciitis (NF) and I landed in the ICU on a respirator. I woke up from the coma, slowly understanding that I had serious body damage, but everyone was glad to see me alive. Slowly the implications sunk in. While in hospital, my SIL started a website hosted by CaringBridge.org to inform friends and family of progress. When I came home, I took over writing. The posts were filled with blood, sweat, fears, and many tears. It started to feel like I was blogging, rather than simply disseminating information on my well being. This blog was born, about the next phase of healing. The original illness is over, but in the aftermath, I am fighting more rare diseases, and needing more surgeries. There are elements of illness-induced loneliness and pain, as well as plenty of faith and hope. I invite you to join me on my journey!