Tuesday, April 23, 2013

balancing water

The fog is lifting a bit. The flood waters are getting lower and more equalized. I have called various professionals for various forms of assistance. The image I get in my head when I say the waters are getting more balanced (equalized is the word I used) is an image of the process a just-born baby goes through with the placenta, which is still inside the mother's womb. What happens is that at first, the placenta has an overabundance of blood. Then when the cord is left pulsing (uncut), the blood gets passed through the umbilical cord from the placenta, inside, to the baby, outside. This passing of blood goes on for a number of minutes. This is how the placenta shrinks some, and how the baby gets lots of that oxygenated, rich, "monogrammed" cord blood. Once that process slows down, the cord pulsations slow down, and equilibrium has been reached between the two life forces. The placenta has already started to separate from the uterine wall. The mother helps to expel it, and the birth is complete.

Only with equilibrium, in this case a fluid substance, can life proceed in a positive way.
My "dam" broke, water gushed with no point of return, and the "baby" was in shock.

... being in shock...
...like I was almost exactly a year ago today...
...no equilibrium between the inside of my body and the outside...
...the outside showed no signs of the strangulation going on under the surface...

Anyway, I am too tired to go anywhere philosophical with that at the moment.

Also, it is pretty hard for me to type. My right wrist is still giving me lots of problems, and t really hurts with almost anything I do. I will go to get an x-ray tomorrow. I hope they will give me one, since my appointment is next Monday. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to have a *hand* injured along with both my legs being so problematic.

Wednesday big test in Tel Aviv to see if we'll fix my right hip.
Tomorrow I x-ray my hand, Wednesday my hips will be evaluated with an arterial MRI, Shifra for a blood test, and somehow get Dov to the orthodontist, two of his brace cubes broke off.

I just wanted a quick update to say that stuff, and to say that I started my book today!
I really wanted to go to a writer's conference in Jerusalem today. Since I never know if I am up to traveling, and I can never expect regularity from one day to the next, I didn't book this conference in advance. I woke up feeling well, so I decided I wanted to go.

For about an hour Robert & I were trying to find help with picking up kids from school, taking them to activities, and getting them home in the evening.

It wasn't happening; nobody was available to help out.

Robert suggested that instead of going to the conference and talking about writing, just make this a day that I'll write my book.

So I did. I have found a new found desire to work on my book. And that is a good thing. :) This David will slay the giant. With Gd's help.

Uv'shavtem mayim Bisasson. :)


  1. Sounds like progress is being made. Good for you. Hopefully the results of all this week's tests will provide the information you need to make decisions.

  2. Finding equilibrium is so hard. Glad you took Robert's advice and started the book! That, too, will go by fits and starts, but it's a beginning.

  3. wishing you equilibrium and flow. :)

    1. Sheila- I loved these vignettes. Especially the one with the bride. hehe. The others are just simply divine. Thanks for giving them to me!

  4. Dear Sarah. On Water Balance: Great metaphor of the balance between the 2 bodies . I was wondering where that will lead you.

    Starting the book, what can I say! BRAVO BRAVO… the starting is the hardest step of the whole dance, I promise you.