Monday, February 24, 2014

A few hard weeks since the concussion

One reason I haven't written for so long is that my dear friend, my main squeeze, my faithful comrade, my partner-in-crime... yes, you guessed it, my computer, is giving me grief. It is getting slower and slower, and I can barely use it. Robert is trying to resuscitate it. Not happy! If this goes on, we may have to get this budding author a new computer. I can't waste so much time waiting for the darn thing to open what I want it to, and when I want it to. Well, I have the blog open now, so I'll write a bit.

My book hasn't had much attention lately, either. Partly because of the computer issues, and partly because of the author's issues.

It is either one thing or another... or some other thing that has no name.
These days it is the third category- a thing that has no name. I have just been not well for at least a week now. I got that concussion two weeks ago, a few bad migraines that same week, and last week was better. Shabbat was busy, but because we borrowed a wheel chair to get me around, I wasn't in much pain. I did drink some "blush" wine on Shabbat. We know that I can't drink red wine, that it causes me migraines, but we don't know about blush. So, since I had blush wine on Shabbat and got a migraine Sat night, I will jump to the conclusion that blush is out, too. In fact, I may just quit wine drinking all together even white. I *love* good wine. I don't want to cut it out. But if that is what is causing my migraines, no choice. I guess it'd make sense considering how much medication I take. :(

I just have been "off". Physically speaking.
Every time I sit down to work on my writing, something gets in the way.
Well, one evening last week when I was set to write in the morning, I got a call from the doctor of ear, nose, and throat to say they have an opening for an appointment the next morning. So, as well as it was to have an immediate appointment (about the bony thing in my head), I lost another morning of working.

We found out that the bony thing may well *not* be the cause of my migraines. It is a benign tumor, and not rare. My doc has seen this type of thing before, and usually it is asymptomatic, and you leave it in and nobody cares. In my case, we don't know if it is asymptomatic. It could be the cause of my migraines, but he thinks it's a small likelihood (don't get me started on medical things that have a small likelihood of happening!). He suggested just watching it over the course of a year, with CT scans, and see if it is growing at all. If it is, we'll take it out. If not, we don't do anything. Taking it out is basically brain surgery... it is in the region between my eyes, but higher. Brain surgery. We'll stay away from that any time soon, OK? So, he said basically that he will look at my CT scan from when I had the concussion, and get back to me. I haven't dropped off the disk, though, yet. Gotta get to that.

Then there was another day last week with a headache, and an entire day in bed the next day trying to recover. I couldn't work then, either.

I have been incredibly tired. I guess I always am, but it is so hard to get anything done which doesn't have an immediate need to get done. And there is so much of that immediate need stuff. The book work is slow, and I feel "behind" in the course I am taking on-line, but truthfully the course is to be done on your own time. No pressure. But I so badly want to WRITE!! Once I get started, I won't be able to stop. Thing is, I *have* gotten started, and have all sorts of stops. Well, life.

So, the last migraine I had was on Saturday night. That was without nausea. Sunday, however, I woke up nauseous, and spent pretty much the whole day with low-level nausea. Last night, however, it HIT. I was throwing up horribly. AWFUL. Today I am taking it easy in bed, off and on sleeping. Glad it's Robert's day off.

Remember a few blogs ago I asked you guys to give me your thoughts on some questions about my book?

I got back some very interesting answers. All of which, I thought I had addressed in my blog, clearly. Now I see that it hasn't been so clear. That is why it is good for me to get these thoughts.

I have been [trying] to write back to these letters, and am making notes about them for my book. It helps me clarify what hasn't been clear, if that makes sense.

Many of the questions people had were asking me to address if and how my mothering has been effected, how the children have possibly been effected, what is the bottom line on the pain meds; can I go off them or not, wanting clarification on possible upcoming surgeries, pros and cons of these surgeries.

I would still love to hear from anyone else who is interested in clarification of issues from the blog (no matter how in-depth. I may chose not to answer it, but ask away, you won't shock me, I promise.) Issues they are curious about, or what hasn't been clear for them about this whole journey?

I am still looking for a title. I thought I had one, but it isn't working for me. I have a subtitle, though, that rocks.

Anyone want to offer a title? If I wind up using it or part of it, I'll write your name in the acknowledgements! All [serious] suggestions considered!

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