Tuesday, March 4, 2014

I am just sad. I'm sorry.

I have been down, and not wanting to write about it. Really down, and really not wanting to write about it.

People I saw at a wonderful wedding last week would say that they can't believe that I am the same person who writes the blogs. I write about feeling like crap, and it isn't congruous to the Sarah in front of them, looking happy and healthy. I don't show it externally, I hardly ever do. If you live with me though, or come over at a time I am feeling sick, you'd get it. Robert certainly has had his share of Sarah not feeling well. Sometimes I think that it is nearly impossible for him to see me any other way anymore. (tears)

I've been struggling with too many migraines (and "migraine hangover" days thereafter), and a few days of fever and flu. Also there is "stuff" going on in my life that I cannot write about here (but which will be in my book...) which is making me just more melancholy these days.

And my mom is back in the hospital. Yesterday she had an 'episode', and she could barely string two words together. 

All I wanted to hear was a cheery: 
"happy birthday, my doll!"
as I've heard her say, every March third,
 for the last 45 years.

left picture- me, March 3rd, 1968. Right picture- maybe three or four months later? Staring lovingly into the eyes of my big brother, Peter. The two white strips- hospital bracelets from my mother's hospital stay while giving birth to me. The big one is hers, and the little one.... so tiny! It's awesome to hold them in my hands. Thanks, mom, for saving them.


  1. Sorry to hear about your mom and that you're feeling so down. I pray this will pass quickly.

  2. I'm sorry, Sarah. I'm thinking of you.

  3. Dear Sarah hugging you virtually through this one too xxxooo

  4. brachot for a complete refua.
    brachot for your special birthday!
    love and warmth to your lovely family.

  5. Dear Sarah,

    Happy Birthday!!!

    It's so good that you can get out socially and do things and be there despite all you're going through. That is a blessing. That is all I can say, is to see the positive in life, and the positive qualities in each member of our family and friends. That's the most we can do. Once we do that they'll respond in kind.
    (We did a whole coaching program for parents of young adults and the results were fantastic).
    and again, hang in there!

  6. Dear, dear Sarah,

    You know I’m here if you need me.