This summer

I am starting to get a little nervous about my upcoming surgery (July 12th). I am nervous about what will be with the children during the time that I will be recovering.

There is day camp for Azriel and Shifra. Shifra's only goes until 1:30, so I hope to sign her up for swimming lessons in the afternoons, but all this takes driving to & from. That has to be figured out, too. I don't yet have a summer program for Ya'akov. Until I do, I feel that I won't be emotionally ready to go into the surgery. Good thing I have a month.

Dov, my first child, 11 1/2 years old, is going to sleep away camp for *three weeks* (B'nei Akiva camp)! I haven quite absorbed that. How can I not see him for three whole weeks? I am grateful to my parents for granting him their financial gift for camp.

I hope and pray that his time there won't be influenced by the fact that I am having surgery while he's gone. I want him to enjoy every minute. He will be gone from July 5th to the 25th, with my surgery on the 12th. The one sort of complicated thing with that is that visiting day is in the middle of the three weeks of camp, on July 16th. Obviously I won't be able to travel... I may not even be out of the hospital. His Aunt Rivka (my SIL) said she'd go to see him, and Robert & the other kids will, too, but the hard thing is that visiting day is on a Friday. His camp is a good three hours from where we live. so if I am out of hospital, how would Robert & the kids go up there and come back (before Shabbat) on the same day? If I am not out of the hospital, he and the 3 children can go and stay up North with cousins of his in the Galilee. If I am discharged that day (quite possible), I will already be in Tel Aviv, needing to get home. I won't be in any condition to be far from a bed for any length of time. See how complicated it is?

These details do have to be thought through. I really will be a bit more at ease when we find a nice plan for Ya'akov. We are considering sending him to England (with escort from the airline) to spend a few weeks with one of his best friends who he misses. He'd *love* that, but we don't yet know if his friends' family is available for that. Either it'll be that, or we'll try to find a program for him for the days.

I am going into a major abdominal surgery, which the surgeon said would be 6 or 7 hours. He also said it is a painful recovery. Even the Rav who recommended the surgeon said it's a lousy surgery to go through. I am expecting nothing more than feeling *terrible* for at least a month. I really need to know that the kids will be OK. That is a major contributing factor to my recovery.

OK, I got my worries out in writing. I hope to have the organizational skills, resources, and strength and faith to work this all through... before July 11th.