Post-op, day 25

All of us, myself included, have come to expect that these tough experiences that I write about will bring forth enlightened spiritual wisdom and unprecedented growth. But I think all that great stuff is only available to taste after it's all over. It's dessert.

Right now, as you know, I am in the hard stuff. Every day I feel weak and vaguely flu-ey, and the pain of the surgery still digs at the thinly protected left side of my abdomen like a straight-edged chisel getting an occasional hit on it's handle. This is every day now, more or less, for three- almost four- weeks. It is not like labor, which will come to a screaming, triumphant end with a baby emerging, after [usually] less than a day passes.

I haven't felt at all spiritual with this. I am just trying to get through the days.

I spoke with my family doctor today. I was hoping she would have a recommendation for me for pain relief; something non-narcotic, but more effective for me than the Voltarin has been. She said there are no new discoveries. She suggested overlapping the Voltarin with liquid Optalgin, but aside from that, no genius solutions. I tried the two medicines overlapping today, and it did make the pain a little duller, thank the Good Lord. I was hoping, though, that she'd print that magic slip of paper, with some previously unknown [to me] pain medicine, and I'd be free to recover without suffering.

But I guess we have to suffer to recover, or else we wouldn't recover. If I didn't have pain, I'd be pushing myself. At one point in the day, when the two pain meds were in sync, I thought "hmmm, it's Thursday, I should put up the starter for bread now, and make challot and pizza!" With that thought in mind, I got up, and went to shower. Piece of cake? NOT!!! I need to take so many breaks while trying to shower (and this is sitting on a chair, of course) that by the end, I was so completely exhausted that I could only get back into bed and take another shot of the Optalgin liquid.

Good thing my dear friend and fellow whole-grain bread maker called and asked if she can bake bread for us for Shabbat. Yes, yes, thank you, thank you, wise friend.

So the pain is here for as long as I need to know not to get stuff accomplished. And I don't have the "gift" of narcotic pain medicine. I'm sure there is a good wisdom to all this, but as I said before... that is dessert.

Shabbat Shalom